Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday July 23, 2019

Here’s the story…

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came

across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing

away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and

devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people & whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is

whether I win or lose.” – Darrin Weinberg

“There’s always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed

too little – and it’s always somebody else.”- Cullen Hightower

“Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of

the country, it would probably fly around in circles.” – Pat Paulsen

“No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to

say them deliberately.” – Michel de Montaigne

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy

o those who think.” – Horace Walpole

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Quasimodo goes to a doctor for his annual checkup. “I think something is

wrong with your back,” the doctor says. “What makes you say that?”

Quasimodo asks.

“I don’t know,” the doctor replies. “It’s just a hunch.” 😐

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I don’t drink…coffee.”

Answer: Dracula 2000!
Actor Gerard Butler plays Dracula in this 21st century vampire tale. Award winning actor Christopher Plummer plays Matthew Van Helsing, the great-grandson of Abraham Van Helsing, the legendary vampire hunter. During an exchange with Lucy, played by actress Colleen Fitzpatrick, she asks him if he would like a soda or coffee. To this the vampire replies haltingly “I don’t drink…coffee”. The two were engaging in small talk after meeting at the local mall. It is not long after this that he turns her into a vampire like himself. The only thing that Dracula thirsts for is blood. To become monster that may live for centuries, and cannot drink coffee, sounds like a curse to me.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “This is espresso, you know? It’s like coffee zilla!.

Monday’s Quizzler is…. A Tom Swifty is a play on words. Tom speaks, and the way he is said to speak is a pun – both meanings are relevant.

e.g. “I love hot dogs”, Tom said frankly. “Frank” connects how he spoke and the hot dog! [Frankfurter!]

The Tom Swifty can also use a phrase or homophone.
e.g. “You didn’t order enough carpet”, said Tom with a cold stare.
“Cold stare” expresses his annoyance and suggests uncarpeted stairs!

Choose one of the listed words or phrases to fill each gap.

** CLUES **
1. “No, don’t come in. I’m changing!” said Tom _____.

2. “This is a grave situation”, said Tom, _____.

3. “Hooray! The radio reception is clear again”, said Tom _____.

4. “So? Buy a proper pencil sharpener!” said Tom _____.

5. “I’m going to be head of the CIA in a few years”, said Tom _____.

** WORD LIST **
bluntly, fondly, graciously, aspiringly, hopefully, ecstatically, in fun, briefly, cryptically, cautiously

** YOUR TURN! **
Think of a better Tom Swifty for one of Tom’s statements in the teaser, and maybe write it as a comment.

Answer: 1. briefly
2. cryptically
3. ecstatically
4. bluntly
5. aspiringlyIf you really need an explanation, scroll down…

Tom Swift was an adventure hero created by American writer Victor Appleton. In the books,

many of Tom’s remarks were written with an adverb or adverbial phrase. From this style,

the term “Tom Swifty” has come to be used for this form of word play.

** EXPLANATIONS **
1. Briefly = in his briefs!
2. Crypt is another name for a grave; a hint of mystery.
3. It sounds like ex-STATIC-ly (static spoils a radio signal).
4. The pencil was blunt and so was the way he spoke – harshly.
5. Aspiringly means “with ambition” – but it sounds like “a-SPY-RING-ly”!

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word.

You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.1. To be required to pay -> Married
2. Allowing access -> Enclosure; writing implement
3. Organ that produces eggs -> Change with time
4. Fruit; colour -> Scope; the extent of something
5. Fruit; colour -> Exist; reside; seeing in real time
6. Colourless gas; a form of oxygen -> Area or region
7. Leaving something out -> Special assignment
8. Public speaking -> Daily food allowance

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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