Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!



WELCOME to Wednesday July 24, 2019



A teenager is:

* A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
* A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
* A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.
* Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
* A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can’t make a bed.
* A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver’s license.
* A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine rap music–loud and very loud.
* An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
* A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.
* A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
* A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
* A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
* An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 



“The number of shark attacks around the world increased by 25 percent. With the

economy like it is, more and more sharks are turning to crime.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“China reportedly scrubbed the images of Winnie the Pooh from social media over
the weekend, after users compared the character to their president. Though it seems
like it would just be easier to just get their president to put some pants on.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems.

Or as those people put it, ‘I was afraid of that.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“At the Plaza Hotel, the lights went off right before a couple exchanged vows. Even worse,
the bride had just said, ‘God, if this is a mistake, please give me a sign.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new report, there is a shrine in Japan solely dedicated to hemorrhoids.
Seating is limited, but usually available.” -Seth Meyers😱😁😎

“At a Walmart in Minnesota, a customer had to tackle a confused deer after it wandered

into the store. The deer is fine and was released back into the wild, which makes this the
happiest possible ending to a story of a deer walking into one of America’s largest
suppliers of hunting rifles.” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

A priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.  He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” The priest looks at

the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”😁😎   



Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “This is espresso, you know? It’s like coffee zilla!.           

Answer:  “The Iron Giant”

This is a reference to the Japanese film monster named Godzilla and infers great strength. The movie is about a metal alien who falls from space and is discovered by Hogarth Hughes, who is about 10 years old. The exchange takes place between Hogarth and adult friend Dean, who is played by Harry Connick Jr. They are in a public establishment and Hogarth is trying to convince Dean that he is big enough to drink an espresso. The best monsters as well as the best cups of coffee are usually big and strong. 


Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it! Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word.
You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.1. To be required to pay -> Married
2. Allowing access -> Enclosure; writing implement
3. Organ that produces eggs -> Change with time
4. Fruit; colour -> Scope; the extent of something
5. Fruit; colour -> Exist; reside; seeing in real time
6. Colourless gas; a form of oxygen -> Area or region
7. Leaving something out -> Special assignment
8. Public speaking -> Daily food allowance


Answer:  1. Owed -> Wed

2. Open -> Pen
3. Ovary -> Vary
4. Orange -> Range
5. Olive -> Live
6. Ozone -> Zone
7. Omission -> Mission

8. Oration -> Ration

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

What phrase does this represent?

Completely and Utterly Lost...






LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.



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