Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday August 2, 2019

RUNNING LATE: Official Glossary
“On the way.” – Still in bed.

“In the car.” – In the shower.

“GPS says 35 min.” – Getting ready.

“There’s traffic.” – Leaving the house.

“Parking now.” – 15 minutes out.

“Can’t find a spot.” – 5 minutes out.

“Walking in.” – Looking for a spot.

“Im right around the corner” – 3 miles away. (My wife😁)

“Almost there”- Just left the house”

“I’m running a little late this morning”- Just starting the car.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Weekend people & whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

A new report says 60 percent of teenagers don’t have even a basic knowledge of finances.

Although in fairness, I’m 38 and I just found out this year that a 401(k) i

s NOT a type of marathon.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk claims he has gotten verbal approval to connect New York,

Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington with a high-speed train that runs in an airless

tube. While the New York City subway just introduced brand-new rotary phones.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study from the University of Sussex found that horses can recognize human

emotions based on our facial expressions. Yet another reason you should never play

poker with a horse — and they never pitch in for the pizza.” -Stephen Colbert

“Police in Florida are searching for someone who stole 360,000 nickels during a house

party. Police believe the suspect is almost to the end of the street.” -Seth Meyers

“A man set a new world record after kicking himself in the head 134 times in one minute.

He broke the previous record of zero.” -Conan O’Brien

“A recent study shows that standing at work for long periods of time is bad for you,

after earlier research indicated that sitting for too long at work is bad for you. So

really the only thing we know is, work is bad for you.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Did you hear about the two guys who decided to try duck hunting? They bought new

outfits and equipment, and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the

hunting was really good. But after several hours of thrashing through the woods, one

fellow said, “I don’t know about this. We’ve been out here all day and haven’t

caught a single duck. Do you think we’re doing something wrong?”

“I don’t know,” replied the other. “Maybe we’re not throwing the dog high enough.”😳😱😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “…Chief, you’re about as big as a […] mountain!”

Answer: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” (1975) is a movie based on the 1962 novel of the same name by Ken Kesey. Both book and movie were critically acclaimed with the movie one of only three movies in the twentieth century to have won the Academy Award Big Five (Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, Best Movie and Best Screenplay). Whilst the themes remain similar between book and movie, there are some important differences. In the book Chief Bromden is the narrator who watches the antics of Randle McMurphey’s battles against the orderliness and authority of Nurse Ratched, whereas in the movie, Chief Bromden is a secondary (but still important character), who is presumed to be mute and deaf. So when the Chief speaks two-thirds into the movie (“Hmmm, Juicy Fruit”) we the audience are taken by surprise.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “It came to me. My own. My love. My own. My precious.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….

Begin with the word “SPARKLING” and take away one letter so as to leave a new word. Then take away another letter from the new word and leave a different word. Continue this, letter by letter, getting a new word every time until you finally leave one word containing only one letter. You must not disturb the order of the remaining letters after a removal.

Answer: The puzzle is solved in this way:

1) SPARKLING.
2) SPARKING.
3) SPARING.
4) SPRING.
5) SPRIG.
6) PRIG.
7) PIG.
8) PI.
9) I.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….

Two numbers are given in each sentence that need to be replaced by words. Each word is an anagram of the other, except that one word contains an additional letter that the other word lacks. When this additional letter is removed, each word can be made by using the letters of the other word in each sentence. Based on the clues given in each sentence, do your best to figure out what the two words are. The numbers given in each sentence indicate the number of letters in each word. Some of the words may be formed without rearranging the letters, and the only difference between the words in this case is the one letter that has been added to one of the words.

1) The attorney was very happy. Not only had he just become a (7) in the firm, but his wife had just told him that he would be a (6) in a few months.

2) The (7) rode swiftly to fight the fire breathing (6).

3) He read in the ancient (4) that a (5) would strike the earth in ten years.

4) I heard the foreman (6) “look out (5)!”

5) The gambler was able to (6) that his opponent was only holding a (5).

6) The Great (6) was not in 1812. You are in (5).

7) In that (6) lies a hero who lost his life to an archer’s (5).

8) A (4) began to form between them when he started to (5) with others.

9) It appeared that the (5) had eaten the young man. All that could be found was the (4) he had worn to the fraternity party.

10) Some people regarded yesterday’s event as being (7). There were rumors that the priest had been paid to (6) the historic site.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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