Sign in a shoe repair store:
“We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.”
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck:
“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”
At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”
“According to a new study, people who live near trees are richer, smarter, and healthier – and
“Brace yourself, because Kraft has announced that they’ve gone natural. I first assumed that
The generation gap proved glaringly obvious at the mail-order music company
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Kids these days. They just don’t get scared like they used to.”
Answer: Monsters, Inc.! “Monsters, Inc” was released in 2001. The movie is about monsters and their “business” of going through children’s closet doors to scare them. However, a little girl by the name of Boo gets into their building and scares the monsters instead; except for two, who befriend her. John Goodman voiced Sully, and Billy Crystal voiced Mike. The quote is spoken by Waternoose. Waternoose is the owner of Monsters, Inc. He is also the villain. He speaks the line because the scaring meter has been considerably lower than it had been. They eventually turn their scaring business into a laughing business.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
I invite you to dig in my virtual mine.
My first is purple, fit for a king,
My second is green where Dorothy did her thing.
My third is red, July’s birthstone as well,
My fourth is seen in strings and is found inside a shell.
My fifth is hard, pure Carbon and expensive to buy,
My sixth is Crocidolite, striped like the big cat’s eye.
Seventh is two words, a man-made fake of April’s stone,
Eighth is very dark and found at Lightning Ridge alone.
Now take from each gem, one letter in its turn,
And you will find the stuff for which even the gods yearn.
Emerald (Emerald city – Wizard of OZ)
Pearl (From inside oyster shell)
Cubic Zirconia (Fake diamond)
Taking the first letter of Amethyst, second of Emerald etcetera gives
Ambrosia – The food of the gods.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
If E times ILE equals BANISH, and TE times T equals BOOK, what does TO times IN equal?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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