Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday August 19, 2019

Pondering Out Loud…

1. Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell hotdogs?

2. At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

3. What is Satan’s last name?

4. Why do doctors leave the room when you

change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

5. Where does the toetag go on a dead person

if they don’t have toes?

6. If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a

stop sign, is it considered a felony?

7. Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance

commericals that says “Not available in all states”?

8. If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in,

would you stay at the center because of gravity?

9. If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get

their money back for the coffin?

10. If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but

the truth and your the main witness, what if you say “no”?

11. Do they bury people with their braces on?

12. How far east can you go before you’re heading west?

13. How does a Real Estate company sell its

office without causing confusion?

14. Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?

15. Why do people think that swaying their arm back and

forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people & whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Virtue is its own punishment.” – Aneurin Bevan

“If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in

your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things. – Rene Descartes

“Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls

the pain of stupidity.” –Frank Leahy

“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility,

there are so few of us left.” –Oscar Levant

“It is only possible to live happily ever after on

a day-to-day basis.” –Margaret Bonnano

“To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no

choreography, and the dancers hit each other.” – Jack Handey

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an open seat on

the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next to it if the seat is taken.

“No,” he replies. “I used to take my wife to all the games,
but ever since she passed away, I come alone.” “Why don’t you invite

a friend?” “I can’t. They’re all at the funeral.” 😱😳

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“‘Greater good?’ I am your wife! I am the greatest “good” you are ever gonna get!”

Answer: The Incredibles! “The Incredibles” was released in 2004. The film is about a retired family of superheroes who go out in the field once again. Craig T. Nelson voices Bob Parr, and Holly Hunter voices Helen. The quote is said by the unseen Frozone’s wife. When the city is in danger, Frozone wants to get out there and help save the world. He needs his super suit for it, but his wife has been planning a special dinner and does not want him to miss it.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I’m in this little town called Radiator Springs. You know Route 66? It’s still here!”

Friday’s Quizzler is….

1-2-3-4-5-6

I am a 6 letter word.
Letters 6-5-2 spell out a drink.
Letters 4-5-2-3 spell out a fruit.
Letters 1-2-6 spell out a pet.
Letters 3-2-6 spell out a pest, which often gets eaten by 1-2-6.
What am I?

Answer: CARPET.
6-5-2: tea
4-5-2-3: pear
1-2-6: cat
3-2-6: rat

Monday’s Quizzler is…….

Once there was a night watchman who had been caught several times sleeping

on the job. The boss issued the final warning. On the next night he was caught

with his head on his hand and his elbows on the desk.
“Aha, I’ve caught you again,” exclaimed the boss. The watchman’s eyes popped

open immediately and he knew what had happened. Being a quick thinking man,

he said one word before looking up at the boss. The boss apologized profusely

and went home. What was the one word?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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