Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday August 20, 2019

Conflicting Proverbs….

Actions speak louder than words. The pen is mightier than the sword.

Look before you leap. He who hesitates is lost.

Many hands make light work. Too many cooks spoil the broth.

A silent man is a wise one. A man without words is a man without thoughts.

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Clothes make the man. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Better safe than sorry.

The bigger, the better. The best things come in small packages.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Out of sight, out of mind.

What will be, will be. Life is what you make it.

Cross your bridges when you come to them. Forewarned is forearmed.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. One man’s meat is another man’s poison.

With age comes wisdom. Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come all wise sayings.

The more, the merrier. Two’s company; three’s a crowd

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people & whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail

no one is laughing at you.” – A. Whitney Brown

“Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics.

I can assure you mine are still greater.” – Albert Einstein

“Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth

work faster than your mind.” – Evan Esar

“It’s Cinco de Mayo. If you don’t speak Spanish, Cinco de

Mayo is Spanish for, ‘the mayonnaise is in the sink.'” -Craig Ferguson

“Here’s good news: For the first time in 30 years, American children

have improved their reading scores. Now they can read English

almost as well as Chinese children.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Misquotations are the only quotations that

are never misquoted.”- Hesketh Pearson

“Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not

thus handicapped.” – Elbert Hubbard 😁😎

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark…

1. “Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.”

2. “Happy Birthday! You look great for your age…Almost Lifelike!

3. “When we were together, you always said you’d die for me. Now

that we’ve broke up, I think it’s time you kept your promise.”

4. “I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my

best friend. So here’s his leash, water bowl and chew toys.”

5. “We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits.”

6. “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re here.”

7. “Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever

find out who the father was?”

8. “You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and

there was only one life jacket…. I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.”

9. “Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday

—so we’re having you put to sleep.”

10. “Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!” (available only in Arkansas)😳

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“I’m in this little town called Radiator Springs. You know Route 66? It’s still here!”

Answer: Cars! “Cars” was released in 2006. It is about a racecar who accidentally finds himself in the middle of a small town on Route 66. Owen Wilson voices Lightning McQueen, and the lovable Mater was voiced by Larry the Cable Guy. The quote is by Lightning McQueen. He falls asleep and Mack the truck accidentally loses McQueen. When they finally get ahold of McQueen, he tells them he is lost in Radiator Springs.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “No brother of mine eats rejectamenta in my town!”

Monday’s Quizzler is….

Once there was a night watchman who had been caught several times sleeping

on the job. The boss issued the final warning. On the next night he was caught

with his head on his hand and his elbows on the desk.
“Aha, I’ve caught you again,” exclaimed the boss. The watchman’s eyes popped

open immediately and he knew what had happened. Being a quick thinking man,

he said one word before looking up at the boss. The boss apologized profusely

and went home. What was the one word?

Answer: The one word was “AMEN”, thus making the Boss believe

he was praying rather than sleeping.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

Replace each word or words in parentheses with a one-word synonym to decipher a common phrase.

1. (Performances) (converse) (noisier) than (terms).

2. (More superior) (delayed) than (not at all).

3. (Sublime) (mental abilities) (contemplate) (similarly).

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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