Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday August 23, 2019

Weekend Punagraphy….

1. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?

2. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are

in charge of everything outdoors?

3. Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the

water, but when it “gels” the smell is gone?

4. Why are dogs noses always wet?

5. If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?

6. Why do people say “heads up” when you should duck?

7. Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?

8. If one man says, “it was an uphill battle,” and another says, “it went

downhill from there,” how could they both be having troubles?

9. What’s the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75,

but deer nuts are under a buck.😐

10. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Weekend people & whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“A liberal is a man too broadminded to take

his own side in a quarrel.” – Robert Frost

“I have come to the conclusion that politics are too

serious a matter to be left to the politicians.” – Charles De Gaulle

“Education’s purpose is to replace an empty

mind with an open one.” – Malcolm Forbes

One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you’re

carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways — unless

of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on.

The government will be requiring new food labels that are more

specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced

fat and fat, but great personality.

“I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of

spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down,

I spend the time looking for the paper
I wrote it down on.” -Beryl Pfizer, American journalist

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Mary was married to a something of a chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he

never did anything around the house and certainly….not any housework. That, he declared, was ‘woman’s work.’ One evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that her husband Charley had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren’t so tired from having to do all the housework in

addition to holding down a fulltime job. The next day, she couldn’t wait to tell her friends

in the office. “How did it work out?” they asked. “Well, it was a great dinner,” Mary said.

“Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away.”

“But what about afterward?” her friends wanted to know.

“Oh, that part didn’t work out,” Mary said. “Charley was too tired.” 😳🙇‍♀️😁😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “My master made me this collar, so I may talk. Squirrel!”

Answer: Up! “Up” was released in 2009. It is about an old man who travels to his and his late wife’s dream location, to live. Edward Asner voices Carl, Jordan Nagai voices Russell, and Bob Paterson voices the lovable dog, Dug. Dug the dog says the above quote, albeit the quote is only partially seen. This is when Dug first meets Carl and Russell. They do not know he can talk, so it startles them when Dug says this line.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Andy’s going to college. Can you believe it?”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….

Savannah got distracted when her shuttle arrived at Earth Central Airport. Now she’s at Lost & Found with four other travelers all waiting to retrieve one lost piece of luggage of a different color (black, blue, green, red or yellow.) While filling out their baggage retrieval paperwork, they discovered an amazing coincidence. Each person had the last name of one other person’s nationality and another’s destination country (America, England, France, Panama or Zambia). Nobody had the same last name, nationality or destination country of anyone else in the group. Each person is traveling from his or her country of origin to only one other country. Use the following clues to determine each traveler’s first name, last name (L), nationality (N), destination country (D) and baggage color. Because this is Logic Land, the unlikelihood of the travelers actually sharing the same airport is not of any concern in solving this puzzle.

1. Each traveler’s last name, nationality and destination country are three different names.
2. Ms. Panama is neither the Zambian citizen nor the one going to England; Carmelita wants her suitcase to stand out, so she is not the person with the black bag. (All five travelers are mentioned in this clue.)
3. The person bound for France, who asked Echo where she bought her fragrant cup of coffee, sat next to Mr. England.
4. Echo is not the French citizen that helped Pierre with his paperwork.
5. Of the person with the lovely yellow suitcase and Savannah, one is traveling to Zambia and the other is the American citizen.
6. Pierre’s destination country is the nationality of the owner of the black bag; the destination country of the owner of the black bag is Pierre’s nationality.
7. The person surnamed America is not going to France and the person traveling to America has either a blue or green bag.
8. Juan, who does not have yellow luggage, does not have England as his last name.
9. The five travelers are the American, Echo, the blue suitcase owner, the one traveling to Panama and Ms. France.

Answer: We know that there are 3 women, Carmelita, Savannah, and Echo (clue 3), and 2 men, Pierre and Juan. We know that Pierre is surnamed England, since clue 3 tells us that the person surnamed England is male, and clue 8 tells us that Juan, the only other male is not Mr. England. In clue 2, Pierre is not Ms. Panama, the traveler to England (clue 1 tells us that Mr. England is not traveling to England), Carmelita, or the owner of the black baggage (clue 6); leaving only the Zambian. Since Pierre is from Zambia, clue 6 tells us that the owner of the black luggage must be the one heading to Zambia. In clue 5, the person traveling to Zambia (who we now know has black baggage) must be Savannah and the American citizen has the yellow luggage. Savannah must be Ms. France to fit clue 9 since she is not the American (the 3rd person we have identified), Echo, the owner of the blue bag (Savannah has the black bag), or the traveler bound for Panama (she is heading to Zambia). Savannah’s nationality cannot be French or Zambian (clue 1), English (clues 1 and 6 – Pierre cannot be heading to England because of his last name), or America (since Savannah is not American). The only remaining country is Panama. So Savannah is Panamanian and clue 6 tells us that Pierre must be heading to Panama.

We now have 3 people, Pierre, Savannah, and the American with the yellow bag. According to clue 9, the 2 remaining people are the owner of the blue bag and Echo. Juan is not the owner of the yellow bag (clue 8) so he must have the blue bag, leaving only Carmelita to be the American. Since Echo is not French (clue 4), she must be English and Juan is French (the only remaining option). We know that the person going to France is neither Echo from clue 3 nor Juan because he is French (clue 1), so the only remaining option is that Carmelita is heading to France. Clue 2 tells us that Carmelita is not Ms. Panama, so she must be Echo. Carmelita cannot be surnamed America (clue 1) so this is Juan’s last name, leaving only Zambia as Carmelita’s surname. Clue 2 tells us that Ms. Panama cannot be the one traveling to England so that must be Juan’s destination. Echo is traveling to America, the only remaining option. From clue 7, Echo must have the green bag, since Juan has the blue bag, leaving the red bag to belong to Pierre.

First-Last-Nationality-Destination-Color
Carmelita-Zambia-America-France-Yellow
Echo-Panama-English-America-Green
Juan-America-French-England-Blue
Pierre-England-Zambia-Panama-Red
Savannah-France-Panama-Zambia-Black

Friday’s Quizzler is…….

In each of the cases below, scramble the letters and then add an X at the end to make a new word.

Example: coven + x = convex

1) real + x =
2) torah + x =
3) compel + x =
4) claim + x =
5) nasty + x =
6) hoboes + x =

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com