Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday September 10, 2019

Man Rules, at last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.  Finally, the guys’

side of the story. We always hear ‘the rules’ From the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1 ‘

ON PURPOSE!
1.   Men are NOT mind readers.😎
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up,
you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.😁
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong
hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all
comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you already think you’re fat, then Don’t ask us.👀
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you
already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials, or after it’s over,
NOT DURING THE LAST 5 MINUTES OF THE MOVIE, GAME OR SHOW!
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know
you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as baseball, engines, chicken wings or motor sports.
1. You have enough clothes.😱
1. You have too many shoes.😳
1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

 

 

Quotes of the Day

“Confusion is always the

most honest response.”  – Marty Indik

“I do not fear computers. I fear
the lack of them.” – Isaac Asimov
“Technology is dominated by two types of people: those
who understand what they do not manage, and those who

manage what they do not understand.” – Putt’s Law

“Labor Day, in case you don’t know history, was established all the way
back in 1894 as a way to give Americans an extra day to dread going
back to work after the weekend.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Scientists have discovered a species of fish that surrounds itself with uglier
fish in order to look more attractive. However, scientists could not
identify which sorority it belongs to.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Nintendo recently announced that its character Mario is no longer a plumber.

Apparently, he was fired after coming to work on mushrooms.” -Seth Meyers
 

 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

10 LAWS OF COMPUTING

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you’d least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human…to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
9. A complex system that doesn’t work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“After all, a lot of people are going to think we are a shocking pair.”
Answer:  Sidney Poitier – “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”
“Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” is a 1967 movie directed by Stanley Kramer and stars Spencer Tracy,  Katharine Hepburn, Sidney Poitier and Katharine Houghton. It’s the story of a young woman who brings her African-American fiancé home to meet her affluent parents.

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I own the hotel, and I live there. My life is very much like Monopoly.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​

Five siblings are they, their color is true;
One belongs to one, four are shared by two.
Connected together, some by locks;
Many meet their fate upon the rocks.
Arrange their initials, and you should
Find things that are found in a neighborhood.

What has just been described?🤔Answer:  The Great Lakes: Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, Ontario

There are five, lakes being blue (as in true blue). Lake Michigan belongs to the United States, the other lakes are shared by the United States and Canada. The lakes are part of a chain, with locks between some of them. Many shipwrecks occur by grounding on rocks in shallow water. The initials spell “homes”, which are found in neighborhoods.

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

Each of the following clues refers to a word that begins with “ten”. Can you guess all ten of them?

1. Inclination
2. Delicate or gentle
3. A sinew
4. A racket game
5. Capable of being stretched
6. Between the bass and alto
7. Stretched tight
8. Unsubstantial
9. A dwelling
10. An opinion held to be true.

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

 

  

 

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