Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday September 19, 2019

The Five Stages Of Drunk: Provided as a public service, you don’t have

to experience these stages yourself, at least not all of them!

Stage 1 – SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and
want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the
person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 – GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You
can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are
still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 – RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you
have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course,
you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn’t matter how much you bet ‘cos you are RICH. You
will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 – BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or
arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people
who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are
SMART, you are RICH and hell, you’re BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 – INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a
table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also
invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs
because no one can see or hear you and because you’re still SMART you know all the words.  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

 

 

Quotes of the Day

“Nice guys finish last, but we

get to sleep in.” – Evan Davis
“Everything you can imagine is real.” – Pablo Picasso  

 
“You know you’re on a diet when cat food
commercials make you hungry.” –Andy Bumatai

 
“What’s right is what’s left if you do
everything wrong.” –Robin Williams

 
“I was stopped once for going fifty-three in a thirty-five mile
zone, but I told them I had dyslexia.” –Spanky 

 

 

 


Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man,
was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army
issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon
the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army
issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.  😱


 

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.”

 

Answer: Bridget Jones’s Diary! These words were said by Mark to Bridget at the end of a dinner party, prompting Bridget to remain uncharacteristically quiet.The plot of the 2001 film, “Bridget Jones’s Diary”, revolved around singleton, Bridget’s (played by Renée Zellweger) attempts to find love. After falling for her roguish boss, Daniel Cleaver, (played by Hugh Grant), Bridget spent a few happy weeks planning their future, until the rug was eventually pulled out from under her feet. Meanwhile her parents split up, and her career nosedived, giving her plenty of additional things to worry about. However amidst all the drama, Mark Darcy, (played by Colin Firth), hovered on the sidelines, as the proverbial knight in shining armour, just waiting for an opportunity to sweep Bridget off her feet.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“My insurance does not cover PMS!”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​

I live above a star, and yet I never burn,
I have eleven neighbors, and yet none of them turn,
I am visited in sequence, first, last or in between,
PRS (& sometimes Q) are my initials,
Now, tell me what I mean.

 

Answer:  

The ”7” on the telephone keypad
(new ones have the letter Q with the PRS)



 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

This word has 10 letters namely

1234567890

1234 – carries heredity
456 – is a period of time
567 – is a pest
and 890 – is a charged particle
What is the word?

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

 

  

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