WELCOME to Monday September 23, 2019
Pondering Out Loud…
-How come wrong numbers are never busy?
-Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “up over”?
-Does killing time damage eternity?
-Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
-Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
-Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
-Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
-Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
-How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
-How many weeks are there in a light year?
-If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
-If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?
-If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
-Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be
informed beholder a black eye.” – Miss Piggy
Flintstone.” -Conan O’Brien
Even PETA said, ‘Make yourself a belt out of it, lady!'” –Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through
His mother answered, and I told her what happened. “Don’t worry,”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.”
Answer: Bridget Jones’s Diary! These words were said by Mark to Bridget at the end of a dinner party, prompting Bridget to remain uncharacteristically quiet. The plot of the 2001 film, “Bridget Jones’s Diary”, revolved around singleton, Bridget’s (played by Renée Zellweger) attempts to find love. After falling for her roguish boss, Daniel Cleaver, (played by Hugh Grant), Bridget spent a few happy weeks planning their future, until the rug was eventually pulled out from under her feet. Meanwhile her parents split up, and her career nosedived, giving her plenty of additional things to worry about. However amidst all the drama, Mark Darcy, (played by Colin Firth), hovered on the sidelines, as the proverbial knight in shining armour, just waiting for an opportunity to sweep Bridget off her feet.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“You’re the first woman I’ve seen in one of these things that dresses like a woman, not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a woman.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
One day the Emperor Akbar startled his courtiers with a strange question.
“If somebody pulled my moustache, what sort of punishment should be given to him?” he asked.
“He should be flogged!” said one courtier.
“He should be hanged!” said another.
“He should be beheaded!” said a third.
“And what about you, Birbal?” asked the emperor. “What do you think would be the right thing to do if somebody pulled my whiskers?”
“He should be given sweets,” said Birbal.
“Sweets?” gasped the other courtiers.
Why do you think Birbal gave such a strange answer to the Emperor’s strange question?
Answer: Birbal continued, “Yes, sweets, because the only one who would dare pull His
Majesty’s moustache is a small child such as your grandson.”
Birbal said this because he knew no adult person, however close to the Emperor, would
get away with something like that, as a moustache was a symbol of power and not something to be taken lightly.
So pleased was the emperor with the answer that he took off his necklace and gave it to Birbal as a reward for his quick wit.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
1. The recipes, in no particular order, were the recipe using cinnamon, the recipe using three apples, the apple tarts, the recipe using Macoun apples, and the apple crisp.
2. The recipe using the Cortland apples used one apple more than the apple bread but one apple less than the recipe using the raisins.
3. The muffins used one more apple than the recipe with the walnuts but two less apples than the recipe using the Red Delicious apples.
4. The nutmeg was used in the apple crisp, which used more than two apples but less than the apple pie used. The apple pie used more apples than the treat with the raisins.
5. The apple muffins, which weren’t made with Macoun apples, used pecans.
6. The Empire apples weren’t used in the apple crisp. The recipe using the McIntosh apples used the most apples.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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