Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday September 26, 2019

Wisdom from Grandpa….

* Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg,

depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

* Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy

earnin’ his salt, that he forgets his sugar.

* Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.

* When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble

starts when they try to decide which one.

* On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the

past – but never the present.

* The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only

when the interest is kept up.

* Many girls like to marry a military man – he can cook, sew, and

make beds, and is in good health, and he’s already used to taking orders.

* Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your

age, and start bragging about it.

* The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

* I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

* Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

* If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything

to laugh at when you are old.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

Quotes of the Day

“No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find

people on your side that you wish were on the other.” – Jascha Heifetz

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things,

and small people talk about wine.” – Fran Lebowitz

“If you enjoy your alcohol, remember this: If you put your old, rotten

liver under your pillow, the Beer Fairy will leave you a keg.” –Paul Tomkins

“My sister was in labor for thirty-six hours. Ow! She got wheeled out of

delivery, looked at me, and said, ‘Adopt.'” –Caroline Rhea

“My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married. She keeps asking

me if I can support her, but she knows I can…

she’s always on my back.” –Scott Wood 😱

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

“You’re running around with other women,” she told her mate. “Eve, honey,

you’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You know you’re the only

woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be

awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking

him rather vigorously about the torso. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Adam demanded. “Counting your ribs,” said Eve. 😳🤔😎

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“…so we’re not going to fight anymore. We’re going to pull together and we’re going to find a way to get out of here.”

Answer: Deep Blue Sea! Renny Harlin’s super-killer-shark film from 1999 introduced several science-type characters in an extensive floating complex at sea, tampered with some super-smart shark brains, and ultimately caused chaos. When the smart sharks got loose, they started to sink the complex to free themselves and, as it seems, eat the cast. In one memorable scene, Samuel L. Jackson’s scientist character tried to take the lead with a motivating speech about the dangers of man and the dangers of nature before proposing that they work together to escape. Seconds later, a shark leapt from an open pit behind him, grabbing him in its jaws, and pulling him under. He shouldn’t have said anything– he jinxed it.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

What phrase is shown in the figure below?

S-n-o-w

Answer: Dashing through the snow.

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

Find the names of 5 planets hidden in the following sentences:

1. “What hurts?” asked the doctor. “It’s my ear,” the patient cried.

2. “Steven, use the screwdriver to build those shelves.”

3. Everyone takes a turn during Monopoly.

4. “Cassie, you ran us over with your bicycle!”

5. “Sam, arsenic is poisonous. I read the definition in the dictionary.”

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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