Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday October 1, 2019

Here’s the story…

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The “friends and survivors” of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:

“He swept the rug under the carpet.”

“She’s burning the midnight oil at both ends.”

“It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.”

“It’s time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.”

“She’s robbing Peter to pay the piper.”

“He’s up a tree without a paddle.”

“Beware my friend…you are skating on hot water.”

“Keep your ear to the grindstone.”

“Sometimes you’ve gotta stick your neck out on a limb.”

“Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people and

whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

Quotes of the Day

“The thing I hate about an argument is that it

always interrupts a discussion.” – G. K. Chesterton

“The best car safety device is a rear-view

mirror with a cop in it.”- Dudley Moore

“The trouble with being poor is that it takes

up all of your time.” – Willem de Kooning

“A recent study has found that more senior

citizens than ever are entering college. College

faculty says that the seniors are like any other

students…except they take Jell-O shots

just for the Jell-O.” –Conan O’Brien

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

These two girlfriends are very close, allowing them to be totally

honest with each other. As one fidgeted in front of the mirror one

evening before a date, she remarked, “I’m fat.” “No, you’re not,”

the other scolded. “My hair is awful.” “It looks just fine.”
“I’ve never looked worse,” she whined.

“Yes, you have,” her friend replied. 😱😳😁😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”

Answer: Dead Poets Society! Robin Williams introduces himself to his class with the knowledge that life is short and much can be accomplished, finishing it off with the 95th most popular movie quote.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero. The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I’m selling? No. Do I know what I’m doing today? No. But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….

Last night during their weekly poker game, five men (Brad, John, Mitch, Paul, and Ron) were bragging about how romantic they were. In order to decide who was the best husband, they planned to take their wives on a special date this Friday night, including dinner, flowers, and a movie. Can you figure out the name of each wife, where the couple went for dinner, the flowers she received, and the movie they saw?

The wives are: Belinda, Jessica, Monica, Penelope, and Robyn

The flowers are: Daisies, Pansies, Roses, Sunflowers, and Tulips

The restaurants are: Bella Notte (Italian), Cowhide (Steak), Juan’s (Mexican), OoLaLa (French), and Wok In and Out (Chinese)

The movies are: Gone in 20 Seconds (a movie about car thieves), Lonely Canary (a western), The Journal (a romance), Pretty Lady (a romantic comedy), and Shriek (a horror movie).

1. John, who didn’t take out Belinda (who went to Bella Notte, but not with Ron or Mitch), had to turn on all the lights and check under the bed for killers before his wife would come inside the house and put the tulips in a vase.

2. The couple that dined at Cowhide did not see “The Journal” or “Gone in 20 Seconds”.

3. Penelope, who didn’t get pansies, loved the car movie her husband took her to (he wasn’t Paul, who gave roses to his “Pretty Lady”).

4. Robyn did not get roses, but she found a romantic message in her eggroll, which wasn’t from Ron.

5. The couple that went to Juan’s enjoyed the daisies, but they did not see “The Journal”.

6. Monica got sunflowers from her husband.

7. Mitch and his wife filled up on tacos before their movie.

8. Jessica, who was not married to Brad (who gave pansies to his wife), went to OoLaLa.

9. Robyn’s husband wanted to see “Shriek”, the new slasher film, but she insisted on a more romantic movie.

Answer: Brad, Robyn, Pansies, Wok In and Out, “The Journal”

John, Jessica, Tulips, OoLaLa, “Shriek”

Mitch, Penelope, Daisies, Juan’s, “Gone in 20 Seconds”

Paul, Belinda, Roses, Bella Notte, “Pretty Lady”

Ron, Monica, Sunflowers, Cowhide, “Lonely Canary”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

You decide to play a game with your friend where your friend places a coin under one of three cups. Your friend would then switch the positions of two of the cups several times so that the coin under one of the cups moves with the cup it is under. You would then select the cup that you think the coin is under. If you won, you would receive the coin, but if you lost, you would have to pay.

As the game starts, you realise that you are really tired, and you don’t focus very well on the moving of the cups. When your friend stops moving the cups and asks you where the coin is, you only remember a few things:

He put the coin in the rightmost cup at the start.

He switched two of the cups 3 times.

The first time he switched two of the cups, the rightmost one was switched with another.

The second time he switched two of the cups, the rightmost one was not touched.

The third and last time he switched two of the cups, the rightmost one was switched with another.

You don’t want to end up paying your friend, so, using your head, you try to work out which cup is most likely to hold the coin, using the information you remember.

Which cup is most likely to hold the coin?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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