* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick
up five items at the store and then you add one more as
an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. (True!)
* Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important
you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or
absence is noticed.
* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase
your taxes and just small enough to have no effect
on your take-home pay.
* Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything
except what happens.
* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always
wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing some-
thing else.
* Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers,
only cross-references.
* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on
the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the
grocery bag.
* Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will
go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet
the boss in the parking lot.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“Humor is just another defense against the universe.” – Mel Brooks
“If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” – Bill Lyon
“I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.” – William H. Mauldin
If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body,
then only left-handed people are in their right mind.
“To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements
for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking,
all is lost.” –Gustave Flaubert
“There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the
best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find
fault with the rest of us.” –James Truslow Adams
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy chaplain,
but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at the
close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the family to come up and view the
body. “Will the family now come forward and pass around the bier,” said my father.
He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later, as my father was leaving,
he overheard two of the cemetery workers talking. “I didn’t get any beer,” one said.
“Did you?” “You heard the chaplain,” the other replied. “It was just for the family.” 😱 😳 😁😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero. The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I’m selling? No. Do I know what I’m doing today? No. But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.”
Answer: Zoolander! This is the speech Owen Wilson’s character (Hansel) gives for his nomination for “Best Male Model of the Year” Award, which he wins, upsetting Ben Stiller’s (Zoolander’s) streak of three consecutive awards.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “The story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
You decide to play a game with your friend where your friend places a coin under one of three cups. Your friend would then switch the positions of two of the cups several times so that the coin under one of the cups moves with the cup it is under. You would then select the cup that you think the coin is under. If you won, you would receive the coin, but if you lost, you would have to pay.
As the game starts, you realise that you are really tired, and you don’t focus very well on the moving of the cups. When your friend stops moving the cups and asks you where the coin is, you only remember a few things:
He put the coin in the rightmost cup at the start.
He switched two of the cups 3 times.
The first time he switched two of the cups, the rightmost one was switched with another.
The second time he switched two of the cups, the rightmost one was not touched.
The third and last time he switched two of the cups, the rightmost one was switched with another.
You don’t want to end up paying your friend, so, using your head, you try to work out which cup is most likely to hold the coin, using the information you remember.
Which cup is most likely to hold the coin?
Answer: he rightmost cup. The rightmost cup has a half chance of holding the coin, and the other cups have a quarter chance. Pretend that Os represent cups, and Q represents the cup with the coin.
The game starts like this:
OOQ
Then your friend switches the rightmost cup with another, giving two possibilities, with equal chance:
OQO
QOO
Your friend then moves the cups again, but doesn’t touch the rightmost cup. The only switch possible
is with the leftmost cup and the middle cup. This gives two possibilities with equal chance:
QOO
OQO
Lastly, your friend switches the rightmost cup with another cup. If the first possibility shown above was true,
there would be two possibilities, with equal chance:
OOQ
QOO
If the second possibility shown above (In the second switch) was true, there would be two possibilities with equal chance:
OOQ
OQO
This means there are four possibilities altogether, with equal chance:
OOQ
QOO
OOQ
OQO
This means each possibility equals to a quarter chance, and because there are two possibilities with the rightmost cup having the coin, there is a half chance that the coin is there.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about this paragraph? It looks so ordinary that you would think that nothing is wrong with it at all, and, in fact, nothing is. But it is unusual. Why? If you study it and think about it, you may find out, but I am not going to assist you in any way. You must do it without coaching. No doubt, if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you. Who knows? Go to work and try your skill. Par is about half an hour.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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