Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday October 4, 2019

REAL LIFE ANSWERS TO A TRAFFIC VIOLATION EXAM…….

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?

A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?

A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

A: The color.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?

A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?

A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?

A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

A: What for? He can’t see my license plate. 😱

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and

whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

Quotes of the Day

“Money can’t buy friends, but it can

get you a better class of enemy.” – Spike Milligan

“The more I want to get something

done, the less I call it work.” – Richard Bach

“The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the

moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until

you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

“Today is Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day. ADD

organizations say if you think you might have the condition,

check out their Web site, then click on one of the ads, then

Google the lyrics to a song that’s bugging you, then check

Facebook.” -Conan O’Brien

“They used to say a recession is when your neighbor lost

his job, and a depression is when you lost yours, but now they

say a recession is when Wall Street gets bailed out, and a

depression is what you get thinking about it.” -Jay Leno

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

We were four frugal young teachers. But a couple times a year

we treated ourselves to the best Manhattan had to offer. As we approached the famous restaurant Lutece, we questioned whether we were dressed perfectly. Could we pass as urban sophisticates? The maitre d’ met us at the door, all smiles and bows. When he took my raincoat, I began to look over the cozy little bar and anticipate the charming basket of pastry that was our appetizer. Then the maitre d’ returned to our group, gingerly holding a fabric softener sheet that had fallen from my coat sleeve. “Madam,” he said, “Your Bounce.” 😁😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I love you. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. I guess maybe I’ve even loved you before I saw you.”

Answer: A Place in the Sun! George finally confesses his love for socialite Angela at a dance. Angela pulls him out to a balcony for privacy and admits that she feels the same way about him, and they pledge themselves to each other, promising to see each other all summer.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I’m your number one fan.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….

What is the word that has 1 syllable, but when you add 1 letter to the end, it becomes 3 syllables?

Answer:

The first word is ‘are’ then you add an “A” to the end and it becomes ‘area’.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….

Experience my height
As you conquer your fright
And behold a new sight

I am fun for most folks
Hanging high by my spokes
Above the elms and oaks

So why not climb on in
And take me for a spin?
Let your round trip begin

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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