Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday October 7, 2019

Sniglets are words that don’t appear in the dictionary but should!

110 At The Equator (won’ ten at the ek way’ tawr) – n. Any burning sensation experienced directly below the navel when putting on a pair of jeans straight from the dryer.

Accordionated (ah kor’ de on ay tid) – adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Aeroma (ayr oh’ ma) – n. The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout.

Aeropalmics (ayr o palm’ iks) – n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding

a cupped hand out the car window.

Agonosis (ah uh no’ sis) – n. The syndrome of tuning into “Wide World of Sports” every

Saturday just to watch the skier rack himself.

Airdirt (ayr’ dirt) – n. A hanging plant that’s been ignored for three weeks or more.

Anaception (an a sep’ shun) – n. The body’s ability to actually affect television reception by moving about the room.

Animalanche: When you kick your stuffed animals in your sleep and they fall all over you or the floor.

Anticiparcellate (an ti si par’ sel ate) – v. Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not too appear too anxious.

Aquadextrous – adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Aqualibrium (ak wa lib’ re um) – n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

Arachnidiot (ar ak ni’ di ot) – n. A person, who, having wandered into an “invisible” spider web, begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and

whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

Quotes of the Day

Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first

time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.

“We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath. ‘Well,

I’m bored…let’s go brush our teeth.’ Or, ‘I’ve got to make a phone call,

hold this gum in your mouth.'” –Brad Stine

“Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority,

it is time to reform.” – Mark Twain

“A waist is a terrible thing to mind.” – Jane Caminos

“Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars

for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.” – Marilyn Monroe

“Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes we want

a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.” –Tim Allen

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.”

Luckily for me, the CD carrying case I just bought came with

meticulous instructions. “The CD unit,” read the directions,

“automatically becomes portable when carried.” 😳

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Real Newspaper Ads

**3-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.

** Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

** Vacation special: Have your house exterminated.

** Dinner Specials: Turkey $3.25 Chicken or Beef $2.75 Children $2.00.

** Illiterate? Write today for free help.

** Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

** Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

** Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

** Stock up and save. Limit: one.

** Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

** Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.

** For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

** Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

** We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

** Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I’m your number one fan.”

Answer: Misery! Paul Sheldon wakes up hearing former nurse Annie Wilkes continuously saying this after he realizes that she has saved him from dying of hypothermia after crashing during a snowstorm. At first, Annie seems like an angel, but it doesn’t take long for Paul to realize that dying in the accident wouldn’t have been the worst thing…

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….

Experience my height
As you conquer your fright
And behold a new sight

I am fun for most folks
Hanging high by my spokes
Above the elms and oaks

So why not climb on in
And take me for a spin?
Let your round trip begin

What am I?

Answer:

The new Saint Louis Ferris wheel at Union Station.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….

Each group of words has one four letter prefix that fits in front of them to form

another word or phrase. Can you figure out which word it is for each group?

1. Nail, man, out, ten

2. Sick, work, room, plate

3. Do, up, shift, believe

4. Range, shot, horn, bow

5. Back, baked, way, hour

6. Dress, band, ache, rest

7. Chair, jump, light, rise

8. Note, print, ball, step

9. Arm, fly, works, sale

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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