Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Tuesday October 15, 2019

* Why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing grocers
    don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
* Why do some people use the expression ‘Good Grief’? What is a Bad Grief?
* Why is the plural of goose-geese and not the plural of moose-meese?
* If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice why aren’t two houses hice?
* If the plural of mouse is mice, what is the plural of spouse?
* Why do we say something is awfully good? What exactly do we mean by this?
* Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
* Can you have only one plural?
* Have you ever wondered why just one letter makes all the difference
   between here and there?
* Can you be frequent infrequently?
* Why do people say ‘This and That’ as opposed to ‘That and This’?
* If the plural of octopus is octopi and platypus is platypi what is the plural of schoolbus?
* Why is sphinges the plural of sphinx if there’s only one?
* What’s the difference between new and brand new?
* Why do North Americans fill a form out but the English fill it in?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“At a high school in Chicago, 115 of the 800 students in the school
are pregnant. Apparently their motto is ‘Yes We Can’!”- Jay Leno
“The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking
as funny as possible.” – David M. Ogilvy
“History is indeed little more than the register of the
crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.” – Edward Gibbon
“We’ve begun to long for the pitter patter of little feet – so we bought
a dog. Well, it’s cheaper, and you get more
feet.” –Rita Rudner
“Envy is the ulcer of the soul.”- Socrates
“The only time people dislike gossip is when you
gossip about them.” – Will Rogers
“A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” – Lenin #Reality2019😎
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.” –Noel Coward

“Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.” –Frank Leahy 😁

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…. 
Press Bloopers

He left for a vacation at his lodge, taking his favorite two great dames with him.
Rev. Hammond was congratulated on being able to get his parish plastered.
His left thumb, which was shot away, is doing nicely.
We’ve got fifty yankettes married into English nobility right now. Some of them
are duchesses. Some are countesses. Eleven are baronesses. Only one is a lady.
The font so generously presented by Mrs. Smith will be set
in position at the east end of the Church.
Babies may now be baptized at both ends.
The church is now forming a Little Mothers Club. All women desiring to become
Little Mothers are asked to meet with the pastor in his study after services.😳
Dr. Gilbert Murray, O.M., will celebrate his ninetieth birthday quietly at his home at Boars Hill, near Oxford, tomorrow, with his wife, Lady Mary Murray. They have been married 66 years. This evening he is to broadcast in the BBC Home Service a talk called “Unfinished Battle.”😁
A loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given
by one of the members in memory of his wife. 😱
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“At my signal, unleash hell.”
Answer:  Gladiator!

Maximus (Russell Crowe) commands the Roman army with this phrase during a battle against the Germanic tribes at Vindobona. Did you know? Due to the huge success of the film, there was discussion of a prequel and sequel to the movie. However, due to artistic differences, none of the projects moved forward and were abandoned in 2009.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“It’s okay, I wouldn’t remember me either.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Two men working at a construction site were up for a challenge, and they were pretty mad at each other. Finally, at lunch break, they confronted one another. One man, obviously stronger, said “See that wheelbarrow? I’m willin’ to bet $100 (that’s all I have in my wallet here) that you can’t wheel something to that cone and back that I can’t do twice as far. Do we have a bet?”

The other man, too dignified to decline, shook his hand, but he had a plan formulating. He looked at the objects lying around: a pile of 400 bricks, a steel beam, the 10 men that had gathered around to watch, his pickup truck, a stack of ten bags of concrete mix, and then he finalized his plan.
“All right,” he said, and revealed his object.

That night, the strong man went home thoroughly teased and $100 poorer. What did the other man choose?

Answer:  He looked the man right in the eye and said “get in.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
The following are alternate definitions for words, based on how the words sound. For example, “To drive by the docks: P _ _ _ _ _ _ _.” would result in “PASSPORT (Pass Port)”. Can you guess the words described below?
1. What white bears see with: P _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
2. A car’s memoirs: A _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
3. How judges get to a small island: C _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
4. To live long: D _ _ _ _ _.
5. How good a fibber one is: L _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

6. In favor of young men and women: P _ _ _ _ _ _.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s