Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday October 17, 2019

More Science Test Answers…. 
The following are actual submissions on a series of science quizzes, tests, and essays:

“Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.”
“H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.”
“To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.”😐
“When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.”
“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is
 pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”😁
“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.”
“The body consists of three parts — the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity.
The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the
abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five — a, e, i, o, and u.”😱
“Blood flows down one leg and up the other.”
“Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration,
and then expectoration.”
“The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.”
“Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.”
“A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”
“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”
“The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects.”

“The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides

 have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.”😳
   
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“My toughest fight was with
my first wife.” – Muhammad Ali

“It matters not whether you win or lose;
what matters is whether I win or lose.”
– Darrin Weinberg
“Defining and analyzing humor is a
pastime of humorless people.”
– Robert Benchley
“In New York, a woman was charged with
assault after spraying her cab driver with
pepper spray. On the bright side, it was the
closest thing the cabbie’s had to a
 shower in months.”
-Jimmy Fallon
“The ASPCA has now released a list of guidelines
and tips if you’re going to dress your pet up in
a costume for Halloween. The No. 1 tip is,
‘Get a life.’” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…. 
I was addressing some mail when I noticed that my card file of frequently used
addresses was missing. Thinking it must have fallen from my typing table into
the wastebasket, I  called the office janitor.  “I’ve lost my Rolodex,” I told him.
“It may have been picked  up with the trash. Is there any way you could find it?”
He said he would conduct a search. When the janitor informed me he had searched
every trash container for my Rolodex, with no luck, I thanked him for his trouble.
As I left work that evening, the janitor met me at the door.
“Good night,” he said smiling apologetically. “Sorry I couldn’t find your watch.”  😱
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”
Answer:   The Matrix!

Morpheus says this to Neo, when Neo can’t come to terms with the “real” world, after he becomes unplugged.
Did you know? Will Smith turned down the role of Neo to star in “Wild, Wild West,” while Nicolas Cage turned down the same role for personal reasons. Sandra Bullock declined the role of Trinity and Sean Connery turned down the role of Morpheus. “The Matrix” was filmed almost entirely in Australia, but hid as many landmarks as possible to make it seem like it was an everyday American town. Some are still visible though, such as the Sydney Harbour Bridge.


Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
There once was a family of spies. One of them is celebrating his birthday,
and the Mommy spy gave him gifts. The celebrant did
not say anything; instead he gave this set of words:

toes
heat
ambition
nose
kiss
see
for
oneupmanship
route
tough
And because the family are spies, the Mom understood the message.

What was the message?

Answer:  THANKS FOR THE PRESENTS

If you read the first letters beginning from the first word downward, and
then the last letters from the last word upwards, you will reveal the message.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
1. How will you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?

2. How will you put a zebra in a fridge in 4 steps?
3. The King of the Jungle, the lion, is having a wedding ceremony. All of the animals come to attend the ceremony except one. Which one is it and why doesn’t it come?

4. A man has to desperately cross the river to get from one place to the other in a jungle. The river is known for having deadly alligators in it. There is no boat. How is he going to make it to the other place?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com
 

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