WELCOME to Friday October 18, 2019
Maybe this is why they don’t teach music in high school any more.
Following are actual answers from students on music tests…
– The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.
– Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.
– Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
– All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they
sounded like because there are no known descendants.
– Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the
Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven’s Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite,
and Gershwin’s Rap City in Blue.😱😁😁😁
– Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing
without music it is called Acapulco.
– A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
– Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.
– Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between
the Hatfields and the McCoys.
– I know what a sextet is but I’d rather not say.😳
– Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and
had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster
which he kept up in his attic.
– Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“It is dangerous to be right when
the government is wrong.” – Voltaire
“About the most originality that any writer can hope to
achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.” – Josh Billings
“It is a good thing for an uneducated man
to read books of quotations.” – Sir Winston Churchill
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing
annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde
“You cannot slander human nature; it is worse
than words can paint it.” – Charles Haddon Spurgeon
“A Florida man accused of murder argued in court
today that he was unable to commit the crime because
he’s too fat. I think he may be telling the truth, because
he was sworn in on a Ruby Tuesday menu.” – Conan O’Brien
“He had decided to live forever or
die in the attempt.” -Joseph Heller
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you
take your eyes off the goal.” -Henry Ford
“Don’t worry about tomorrow. After all, today is the
tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”😳
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts
1. Spinach flavored Rice Cakes.
2. Teeth removing Taffy
3. Metamucil in a straw
4. Ex-Lax Brownies
5. Caramel Covered Zucchini
6. Colored Crisco on a Stick
7. Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts
8. Chocolate Covered Prunes
9. A Handful of Red Man
10. Anything that ticks!
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Answer: The Shawshank Redemption!
Andy writes this in a letter to Red, after Red has been paroled. Did you know? “The Shawshank Redemption” bombed at the box office and although it received many Academy Award nominations, it won none, due to box office beast “Forrest Gump.” However, “Shawshank Redemption” came to outrank “Forrest Gump” in popularity on AFI’s 100 Years…100 Movies, ranking at #72, while “Forrest Gump” dropped to #76. One more tidbit: Originally, Tom Hanks was supposed to play the lead.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“As for me, I’m just a slave, a living slave.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
1. How will you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
2. How will you put a zebra in a fridge in 4 steps?
3. The King of the Jungle, the lion, is having a wedding ceremony. All of the animals come to attend the ceremony except one. Which one is it and why doesn’t it come?
4. A man has to desperately cross the river to get from one place to the other in a jungle. The river is known for having deadly alligators in it. There is no boat. How is he going to make it to the other place?
Answer: 1. Step one: Open the fridge
Step two: Put the elephant inside
Step three: Close the fridge
2. Step one: Open the fridge
Step two: Take the elephant out
Step three: Put the zebra inside
Step four: Close the fridge
3. Zebra, because he is inside the fridge
4. He will simply swim through the river, as all the alligators have gone to attend the lion’s wedding ceremony.
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Many fears disappear when we become adults, but some fears are never outgrown. Five friends recently discovered that they were all, to some extent, afraid of the dark. None sleep in total darkness; each prefer to have a different light on all night. With further discussion, each also admitted that he or she performs a different nightly routine before retiring. Can you discover each person’s full name, the light he or she keeps on at night, and each person’s habitual practice before bedtime?
Friends: Donald, Gretchen, John, Dawn, Stephanie
Last names: Upgraff, Foster, Weatherton, Buchanan, Young
Routines: Closes closet door, checks locks, put a phone by the bed, pulls down the shades, and looks under the bed
Lights: Desk lamp, hall light, night-light, overhead light, computer screen
1. Either Donald or Stephanie admitted with some embarrassment that he or she always checks under the bed before getting in it.
2. The person who double checks all the house locks sleeps with either the Winnie-the-Pooh night-light or a desk lamp on.
3. The five people are: Gretchen, Dawn, Buchanan, the person who sleeps with his or her computer screen lit, and the person who always keeps a phone near the bed for security.
4. Weatherton (who isn’t Dawn) and the person who sleeps with a night-light are members of the opposite sex.
5. Neither John nor Stephanie sleeps with the hall light on.
6. Dawn isn’t the person who pulls down the shades at night.
7. The person who sleeps with the overhead light on (who is surnamed either Foster or Young) doesn’t find it necessary to keep a phone by the bed.
8. Mr. Upgraff routinely closes the door to his closet, lest the creepy things that lurk within emerge while he sleeps.
9. Buchanan doesn’t sleep with the Winnie-the-Pooh night-light.
10. Young sleeps with either a desk light or the overhead light lit.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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