Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy😳
* To me, it’s a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, “Hey, can you give me
a hand?” You can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.”
* If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet
the most common question people would ask is, “Can’t you make it shoot
farther?” “No, I’m sorry. That’s as far as it shoots.”
* The face of a child can say it all, especially
the mouth part of the face.
* If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava,
let’em go, because, man, they’re gone.
* If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
* If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because
I bet that’s what REALLY throws you into a panic.
* To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music,
no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
* I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king,
they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.