Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday November 13, 2019
 
Here’s the story….
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.  The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out two letters in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a
heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I’ve arrived Date: November 9th, 2019
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send
emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then.
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Happy Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that
apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

What’s all this stuff about motivation? I say, if you need motivation, you probably

need more than motivation. You probably need chemical intervention or brain surgery.
Actually, if you ask me, this country could do with a little less motivation. The people
who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me.
 
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….  
An office technician got a call from a computer user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that her computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her, “Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I’ll fix it for you.” About ten minutes later she showed up at his door… with the electrical cord in her right hand.  😱😳👀
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? 
“No sir. I didn’t see you playing with your dolls again.”
Answer: Spaceballs!

The colonel has caught Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) playing with his Princess Vespa doll behind closed doors, and embarrasses him with this quote. This famous movie spoofs the “Star Wars” movies. The Princess was kidnapped by Dark Helmet and must be rescued by Lone Starr (Pullman) and his pal Barf (Candy). After the Princess is rescued, the team now has to deal with President Skroob’s evil plan to suck all of the air from her home planet of Druidia. Lone Starr must use the “Swartz” that Master Yogurt has taught him.
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
A beggar found a leather purse that someone had dropped in the marketplace. Opening it, he discovered that it contained 100 pieces of gold. Then he heard a merchant shout, “A reward! A reward to the one who finds my leather purse!”

Being an honest man, the beggar came forward and handed the purse to the merchant saying, “Here is your purse. May I have the reward now?”
“Reward?” scoffed the merchant, greedily counting his gold. “Why the purse I dropped had 200 pieces of gold in it. You’ve already stolen more than the reward! Go away or I’ll tell the police.”
“I’m an honest man,” said the beggar defiantly. “Let us take this matter to the court.”
In court, the judge patiently listened to both sides of the story of a leather bag lost and a leather bag found. He counted the coins; 100 gold coins in total. Then said, “If all was said is true then it’s clear that no reward is necessary.”

How did the judge rule on this case?

Answer:   The judge then said, “Merchant, you stated that the purse you lost contained 200 pieces of gold. Well, that’s a considerable loss, but the purse this beggar found had only 100 pieces of gold. Therefore, it couldn’t be the one you lost.” With that, the judge gave the purse with 100 pieces of gold to the beggar, and told the merchant that he did not have to pay a reward.

There might just be a leather bag out there somewhere still with 200 pieces of gold in it, but don’t ask the merchant, the beggar, or me.
 
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Dennis, Emily, Katrina, Rita, and Wilma are five friends who went to elementary school together. However, in 6th grade, each of them moved to a different state or country and are now starting to forget where each person is living, what water sport each person likes, and which natural disaster fascinates each of them. Can you help them sort out their homes and hobbies?

Friends: Dennis, Emily, Katrina, Rita, Wilma
Locations: Mexico, Texas, Cuba, Alabama, Florida
Hobbies: Waterskiing, Scuba Diving, Surfing, Kayaking, Swimming
Natural Disasters: Avalanches, Hurricanes, Tornadoes, Earthquakes, Tsunamis
1. The five friends are Emily, the waterskier, the hurricane and avalanche fanatics, and the Texan.
2. If Dennis is the Cuban, then Emily is the Mexican. If Dennis is the hurricane lover, then Rita loves avalanches. One of these statements is true.
3. Katrina and Dennis are the waterskier and the hurricane fanatic.
4. The waterskier, surfer, and scuba diver live in Mexico, Cuba, and Texas and are fascinated by tornadoes, tsunamis, and earthquakes.
5. The Floridian, who is not Katrina, likes kayaking and avalanches.
6. The surfer, the diver, and Dennis used to hang out with Wilma afterschool.
7. Emily loves earthquakes and Rita loves tsunamis.

8. Rita has known the surfer since first grade.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com
 

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