Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday November 20, 2019
 
SOME GOOD ONES…..
1. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
2. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds the demand.
3. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
4. Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
5. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both should
    be changed regularly and for the same reason.
6. It’s easier to fight for ones’ principles than to live up to them.
7. I don’t mind going anywhere as long as it’s an interesting path.
8. Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
9. It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
10. If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.
11. I don’t get even, I get older.
12. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
13. Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
14. I am a nutritional overachiever.

15. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
Quotes of the Day
A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to
give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which
was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would
rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world
every day just exactly fits in the newspaper.
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence
we have that people are still thinking.
Introducing ‘Lite’ – The new way to spell ‘Light’, but with
twenty per cent fewer letters.
I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….  
On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to order a quart of potato salad. “We don’t sell it by the quart,” the clerk snapped. “Okay, then give me two pints, please,” I replied. I’m proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, 
“Do you want it in one container?” 😱😳😁 
 
 
 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? 
 “I see dead people.”  “In your dreams?”

Answer:   The Sixth Sense!

In this scene a troubled young boy, Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment), is explaining his troubles to child psychiatrist Doctor Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis). When Cole says line one, Doctor Crowe asks line two. When Doctor Crowe asks “Dead people like in graves? In coffins?” Cole explains, “Walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re dead.” In the 2000 Academy Awards “The Sixth Sense” was nominated for six awards, including Best Picture (but lost to “American Beauty”). It won no Oscars but did win numerous other awards. This is one of those rare movies that was filmed in sequence, which is usually not a very practical way of making a movie.
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You’re late.”
“A wizard is never late, Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Aargon the evil aardvark has five ant captives locked up in cages. He decides to eat them in a certain order and they are all to be cooked in different ways with a different herb or spice. Can you determine this evil aardvark’s intentions?

Ant-acid is not to be eaten first or last.
Cumin is to be used with the ant to be eaten in 4th place, but is not to be used with the ant to be grilled.
Ant-O’Knee is to be grilled or steamed but not with ginger.
Ant-ique is to be eaten 2 places ahead of the ant to be cooked with garlic.
The ant to be eaten raw is to be eaten after Ant-ique, but before Ant-acid.
Ant-enna is not to be eaten fried or raw and is not to be eaten in 4th place.
Mint is to be eaten directly before the coriander.
The ant to be eaten in 3rd position is to be baked, but not with coriander or ginger.
Positions: 1st to 5th.
Ants: Ant-O’Knee, Ant-acid, Ant-elope, Ant-enna & Ant-ique.
Cooking Method: Fried, Baked, Raw, Steamed & Grilled.
Spice/Herb: Garlic, Cumin, Coriander, Ginger & Mint.

Answer: Ant / Method / Position / Herb/Spice
Ant-O’Knee / Steamed / 4th /Cumin
Ant-acid / Baked / 3rd / Garlic
Ant-elope / Raw / 2nd / Coriander
Ant-enna / Grilled / 5th / Ginger
Ant-ique / Fried / 1st / Mint  

 
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
A science teacher told his after school class, “Whoever can get this egg into this smaller glass bottle will win no homework for a week! The rules are: the egg has to go into the bottle in one piece, and you can’t break the bottle. You can also use anything in the science lab. So, do we have any volunteers?”

A boy raised his hand and the teacher pointed at him. The boy took the egg and looked around the science lab for the things he could use. He saw some writing paper, a pack of matches, some vinegar, a sink, and the glass bottle. By the end of the after school class, the boy had gotten the egg into the smaller bottle.

How did he do it?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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