Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday November 21, 2019
 
Real Signs In Shop Windows.
Signs In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”
In the window of an Oregon general store:”Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?”
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
On a Tennessee highway: “Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
From the safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket: “If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member.”😱
On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”
On a delicatessen wall: “Our best is none too good.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
Quotes of the Day
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He’s
shy a quarter of a million dollars. That’s why he’s retiring.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is
simply to serve as a warning to others.
There are only two tragedies in life: one
is not getting what one wants,
and the other is getting it.
Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection
 to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only
asking the advantages authors have in a second
edition to correct some faults in the first.
The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak
slowly and subservient people quickly — because if they
don’t speak fast nobody will listen to them.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with

the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….  
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to 
say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders 
bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod 
and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and
ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” 
They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in
for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say. 
“You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.” 😱😳😁
 
 
 
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? 
 “You’re late.”
“A wizard is never late, Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”

Answer:   The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring!

In the events leading up to this scene, the Dark Lord Sauron long ago forged a Ring of Power to control all the peoples and creatures of Middle Earth. This ring fell into the hands of Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm), a Hobbit from The Shire, who later bequeathed the ring to his young nephew Frodo (Elijah Wood). In this scene the wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellen) arrives in The Shire for Bilbo Baggins’ birthday party and Frodo says line one on seeing him arrive in a horse-drawn cart. Gandalf wisely replies with line two. When Gandalf learns the ring is in fact the One Ring of the Dark Lord Sauron, he realizes it must be destroyed by carrying it to Mount Doom, the evil place of its birth, by casting it into the eternal fires that forged it. In the 2002 Academy Awards “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” won four Oscars. It was also nominated in nine other categories, including Best Picture (but lost to “A Beautiful Mind”). All three “The Lord of the Rings” movies (“The Fellowship of the Ring” in 2001, “The Two Towers” in 2002, and “The Return of the King” in 2003) were filmed simultaneously. The back-to-back shoot lasted 274 days. This is a risky way to film a trilogy, but it has the big advantages of having the same actors portray the same characters in all three movies and avoids contract negotiation problems.
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I would have stayed for two thousand.”
“I would have paid four.”
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
A science teacher told his after school class, “Whoever can get this egg into this smaller glass bottle will win no homework for a week! The rules are: the egg has to go into the bottle in one piece, and you can’t break the bottle. You can also use anything in the science lab. So, do we have any volunteers?”

A boy raised his hand and the teacher pointed at him. The boy took the egg and looked around the science lab for the things he could use. He saw some writing paper, a pack of matches, some vinegar, a sink, and the glass bottle. By the end of the after school class, the boy had gotten the egg into the smaller bottle.
How did he do it?

Answer:  First, soak the egg in the vinegar which softens the shell without compromising the egg. Next, take some of the writing paper and shred it into pieces. Take the shredded pieces and put them into the glass bottle. Take a match and light a fire inside the bottle with the shredded paper. After, take the vinegar-soaked egg and put it on the top of the bottle so no oxygen can get into the bottle. The fire can’t live without any oxygen so it will try to suck oxygen from the entrance which the egg is blocking. When the fire does this, the fire becomes like a vacuum. So, basically, the fire sucks the egg into the bottle to try to get the oxygen. After a short while, the shell will reharden and that’s how the egg got into the bottle.

 
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
For each of the following four words, come up with another English word that uses all
THE SAME letters but in a different order. The four words you come up with will rhyme with one another.

ONSET
NEWS
WRONG

HORNET

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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