Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday December 9, 2019
 
ACTUAL CHURCH BULLETIN & SERVICE BLOOPERS.. 
Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High”.
Don’t let worry kill you — let the church help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of
the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All
ladies giving milk will please come early.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
Thursday night–Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.😱
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation
who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.👀

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green,

who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the
sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day 
Don’t marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.

——————————————————————————————————-
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop
window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.
——————————————————————————————————-
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
——————————————————————————————————-
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
——————————————————————————————————-

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage,

and half-shut afterwards.
——————————————————————————————————-
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa. She was in her 20s,
 and the man she was dating left for war. “We were in love,” she recalled, “and wrote
to each other every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your
 grandfather was.” “Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the war?” I asked. “Oh, I didn’t marry the man who wrote the letters. Your grandfather was the mailman.” 😏
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “Oh how reckless of me. I made you all wet.”

“Yes, but my martini is still dry.
Answer:  Never Say Never Again!

This time James must recover two nuclear warheads that were stolen from the Americans by an agent of SPECTRE. This exchange occurs when the beautiful, but evil, Fatima falls in James’ lap, while attempting to water ski up to the bar.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You wanna know how to do it? Here’s how. They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of your
guys to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way.
 
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is….​
The following sentences have two blanks that can be filled with two words that are anagrams of each other. Please find those words.

1. Mark’s math __________ was a mild-mannered man. But one thing he would not tolerate was a __________. He would immediately fail anyone caught doing so.
2. The patient __________ his pain through physical therapy. He had seen enough __________ surgeries to know that too many people elected surgery when they shouldn’t have.

3. After a long and successful career of serving his country, the nation was in shock as the highly regarded __________ was arrested and tried for __________.

Answer:  1. teacher, cheater

2. lessened, needless

3. Senator, treason

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
I have 7 letters.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7
Letters 1-2-6-3-5-4-7 mean the compactness of something.
Letters 7-2-4-5 mean a legendary large, hairy creature that is said to inhabit the Himalayas.
Letters 7-2-3 mean something that is said to show approval, which you wouldn’t be saying if you were trying to 1-2-6-7 something.
Letters 4-5-2-1 mean that everything is equal.

The whole word means a predetermined course of events.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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