Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday December 18, 2019
Today’s Pointed Observations… 
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial
cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.
You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up
 75% of the world’s population.
The things that come to those that wait may be the
things left by those who got there first.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
Quotes of the Day 
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you
smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn.
The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work
and then they get elected and prove it.😱

-P.J. O’Rourke
There’s a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit
has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
– Dorothy Parker
Behind every successful man
there is a surprised woman.

-Maryon Pearson

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Some Vague Thoughts
Vanity Plates seen on a Mercedes Benz in California – WAS HIS
Wealthy people miss one of life’s greatest thrills – Making the last car payment.
The trouble with Sunday drivers is, they don’t drive any better during the week.
If you can’t keep a secret, you don’t need to know it.
Quote from the boss: “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.”
If you want the world to beat a path to your door, just try to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon.
Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money.
When your dreams turn to dust, it’s time to vacuum.
Is your holier side your altar ego?
I need someone to refresh my memory. How many cars are allowed through an intersection after the light turns red? Is it three or five?
What’s dumber, expecting educators to be entertaining, or expecting entertainment to be educational?
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“You think I’m licked. You all think I’m licked. Well, I’m not licked. And I’m gonna stay right here and fight for this lost cause, even if this room gets filled with lies like these. And the Taylors and all their armies come marching into this place. Somebody will listen to me. Some…”

Answer:   Mr Smith Goes to Washington!

This is the film that firmly established Jimmy Stewart as a leading actor, and is often featured in lists of the greatest films of all time. He was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor, but lost out to Robert Donat (‘Goodbye, Mr Chips’); his Oscar for ‘The Philadelphia Story’ the following year is often considered an acknowledgement of the magnificence of his losing 1939 performance. I first saw it on television, and was so mesmerized by this scene that I was late responding to the call to come to the table for Thanksgiving Day dinner; fortunately, my parents were sympathetic to the situation when it was explained.

The movie tells of Jeff Smith, an idealistic and naïve young man who believes that, as junior senator from his (unnamed) home state he is going to Washington to fight for democracy and the good of the individual. He is quickly made aware that life is not as straightforward as that. His bill proposing the establishment of a boys’ camp on the same land that is part of a corrupt political deal involving the senior senator from his state leads to his being branded as corrupt, and he is about to leave in disgrace and despair when he is inspired, while visiting the Lincoln Memorial, to fight the motion to remove him from the senate.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible: Jew, Gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others’ happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world, there’s room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. …
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
One day, a father went to his three sons and told them that he would die soon and he needed to decide which one of them to give his property to. He decided to give them all a test. He said, “Go to the market my sons, and purchase something that is large enough to fill my bedroom, but small enough to fit in your pocket. From this I will decide which of you is the wisest and worthy enough to inherit my land.” So they all went to the market and bought something that they thought would fill the room, yet was still small enough that they could fit into their pockets. Each son came back with a different item. The father told his sons to come into his bedroom one at a time and try to fill up his bedroom with whatever they had purchased. The first son came in and put some pieces of cloth that he had bought and laid them end to end across the room, but it barely covered any of the floor. Then the second son came in and laid some hay, that he had purchased, on the floor but there was only enough to cover half of the floor. The third son came in and showed his father what he had purchased and how it could fill the entire room yet still fit into his pocket. The father replied, “You are truly the wisest of all and you shall receive my property.” What was it that the son had showed to his father? 

Answer: The son had showed his father a match. Whenever he lit the match, it filled the entire room with light, yet it was still small enough to fit into his pocket.  

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
In this teaser, you are to start with the letter ‘U’, and then each time add a letter and shuffle it to make a new word. You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘SUPPORT’.

Not including ‘U’, you must do this in six (6) turns.
Good luck.
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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at
CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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