Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday December 20, 2019
 
Male or Female? 
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
TIRE: Male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under
it… and, of course, there’s the hot air part.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
MAGIC 8 BALL: Male, because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually
indicate it did not pay attention to your question.
WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can
always see right through them.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.😳
HAMMER: Male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.
CRITIC: Female, What, this needs to be explained?😱
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Holiday weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
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Quotes of the Day 
“There’s a new comic book coming out about Arnold
Schwarzenegger’s life. In the comic, Arnold battles

his life-long nemesis: words.” – Jimmy Fallon
_________________________________________________________________
“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t
 park anywhere near the place.”
– Steven Wright
_________________________________________________________________

“She got her looks from her father. He’s a

plastic surgeon.” – Groucho Marx
_________________________________________________________________
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
 My husband was telling me about a news item he heard on National Public Radio about
 how the U.S. military is enlisting honeybees to find land mines. The insects are trained to
 react to the scent of TNT, then are fitted with transmitters and sent out to search for 
underground explosives. “When they smell TNT,” my husband explained, “the insects hover
 over the area and the military tracks them to the site to safely eliminate the land mine.”
“Gee,” I remarked, “it gives a whole new meaning to the slogan ‘Bee all that you can bee!'”😏

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “I’m gonna tell you something I’ve kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew George Gipp. It was long before your time. But you all know what a tradition he is at Notre Dame. And the last thing he said to me: ‘Rock,’ he said, ‘Sometime when the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell ’em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper’. ‘I don’t know where I’ll be then, Rock,’ he said, ‘but I’ll know about it and I’ll be happy.'”

Answer:  Ronald Reagan!

Unless you’re a fan of B movies, you are probably more familiar with Reagan’s performance as a politician, including being the President of the United States from 1981 until 1989, than as an actor. He was also President of the Screen Actors’ Guild for eight one-year terms and Governor of California (1967-1975).

‘Knute Rockne – All American’ was a film biography of the football coach known for his determination to win, his ability to make his players feel the need to make an extra effort for the sake of the team, and his support of the players not only in their athletic endeavours, but also in their personal lives. The Gipper speech was actually delivered at halftime in a 1928 game against Notre Dame’s traditional (at the time) rivals, Army. Playing at Yankee Stadium on November 10, 1928, the team rallied from a halftime deficit to win the game, 12-6, and Rockne’s speech became a part of the mythology of college football.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
Can’t, can’t you understand what’s happening here? Don’t you see what’s happening? Potter isn’t selling. Potter’s buying! And why? Because we’re panicky and he’s not. That’s why. He’s pickin’ up some bargains. Now, we-we can get through this thing all right. We’ve, we’ve got to stick together, though. We’ve got to have faith in each other!”
_________________________________________________________________ 
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Can you pick the god from the list provided that will complete this group?

Zeus, Hephaestus, Gaea, ?

Choose from: Dionysus, Athena, Hermes, Poseidon, Aphrodite

Answer:  Poseidon finishes the group. These Greek gods were associated 
with the four elements (air, fire, earth and water, respectively).
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
After visiting my Great Aunt Annie, I travelled home in her old jalopy. The car was old and battered, it had a leak from the petrol tank, and I was stuck in second gear.

This meant that I could only travel along at a steady 30 miles per hour and managed a paltry 20 miles per gallon of fuel.
At the start of the journey I had placed exactly 10 gallons of fuel into the tank. I knew though, that the fuel tank lost fuel at the rate of half a gallon per hour.
Just as I arrived home, the car stopped because it had run out of fuel and I had only just made it.

How far was it from my Great Aunt’s to my home?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in NEXT FRIDAYS, DECEMBER 27TH Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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