Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday December 31, 2019
Funny Analogies…….. 
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose.
The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
You know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any PH cleanser.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature beef.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax
machine that needed a band tightened.
A branch fell from the tree like a trunk falling off an elephant.
The painting was very Escher-like, as if Escher had painted an exact copy of an Escher painting.
Fishing is like waiting for something that does not happen very often.
They were as good friends as the people on “Friends.”
He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes woo woo woo.
Her eyes were shining like two marbles that someone dropped in mucus and then held up to catch the light.
The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 20 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day 
“Miami was voted the worst road rage city. You have 20-year- olds doing 95,
and 95-year-olds doing 20, that’s why.”

-Craig Ferguson
“According to Blender magazine, the average person spends three years of their
 life in the bathroom. Do you know what’s really pathetic? If it turned out those
were the best years of your life.” -Jay Leno
“Colombian pop singer Shakira was in Phoenix to join the fight against Arizona’s
tough immigration law. It reminds me a lot of the ’80s, when the Beastie Boys
came to Arizona to fight for our right to party.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
As a new paratrooper, I was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto “Death from above!” Later I noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared “Death from below!”  Then, standing in line for chow one day, I was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and 
yet another warning: “Death from within!” 😱


Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “My friends, my friends, I have a speech here. It’s a speech about what this state needs. There’s no need in my telling you what this state needs. You are the state and you know what you need. You over there, look at your pants. Have they got holes in the knees? Listen to your stomach. Did you ever hear it rumble for hunger? And you, what about your crops? Did they ever rot in the field because the road was so bad you couldn’t get ’em to market? And you, what about your kids? Are they growin’ up ignorant as dirt, ignorant as you ’cause there’s no school for ’em? … Now listen to me, you hicks! Listen to me, and lift up your eyes and look at God’s blessed and unfly-blown truth. And this is the truth! You’re a hick, and nobody ever helped a hick but a hick himself! Alright, listen to me! Listen to me! I’m the hick they were gonna use to split the hick vote. Well, I’m standin’ right here now on my hind legs. Even a dog can learn to do that. Are you standin’ on your hind legs? Have you learned to do that much yet? Here it is! Here it is, ya hicks! Nail up anybody who stands in your way! Nail up Joe Harrison! Nail up McMurphy! And if they don’t deliver, give me the hammer and I’ll do it myself!”
Answer:  Willie Stark!

Willie Stark starts out as an idealistic lawyer, who runs for governor on a platform to gain representation for “everyday folk”, those whom he calls “hicks” in the speech used in the question. After the failure of that campaign, he continues to develop his charismatic speech style, and later becomes governor, and leader of a powerful political machine.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I am leaving soon, and you will forgive me if I speak bluntly. The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….​
 When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Pleasant -> Frozen water
2. More recent -> Pitcher for water
3. Noble gas -> Indefinitely long period of time
4. Almost -> Ahead of time; at the beginning of a period of time
5. Not at any time -> At any time
6. None of two choices -> One of two choices
7. Limited width or scope -> Projectile shot from a bow
8. One, for example -> Brown, earthy color

Answer:  1. Nice -> Ice

2. Newer -> Ewer
3. Neon -> Eon
4. Nearly -> Early
5. Never -> Ever
6. Neither -> Either
7. Narrow -> Arrow

8. Number -> Umber

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
In this word pyramid you have to take the letters from the word pea and put them around the ‘h’ to
form a new word. Once you have the next word, do the same with the next line.

h _ _ _
s _ _ _ _
_ _ r _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ n
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ l
CU NEXT YEAR LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com



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