Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

BBXSfwc(1)
WELCOME to Tuesday January 7, 2019
 
Pondering Out Loud…..
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why isn’t “palindrome” spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
_________________________________________________________________________________
Quotes of the Day 
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all
 the impersonators would be dead.

–Johnny Carson
_________________________________________________________________________________
USA Today has come out with a new survey – apparently,
three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
–David Letterman
_________________________________________________________________________________
I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, ‘I’d like some fries.’
The girl at the counter said, ‘Would you like some fries with that?’

–Jay Leno

_________________________________________________________________________________
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Husband: Do you know that on an average women says
 between 10,000 to 35,000 words a day?

Wife: Yes, that’s because they have to repeat
everything often to men.

Husband: What? 😱😁😎

 
 
____________________________________________________________________
 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to fight – wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, big league ball players, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war, because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans. Now, an army is a team – it lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team.”
Answer:   The 1970 film ‘Patton’ begins with George C. Scott, in the title role, delivering a six-minute speech to his troops. Based on material actually delivered by Patton, it included the exhortation.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Buckle your seatbelt Dorothy, ’cause Kansas is going bye-bye.”
 
_________________________________________________________________________________ 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is….​
In Tyria, 5 dragon eggs are about to hatch, and people from all over the land have gathered for the big event. After hatching, each dragon sought out a human companion from the crowd, with whom they would form a lifelong bond. No 2 dragons are the same color, and each human chosen lives in a different village. From the clues below, can you determine the name, color and hatching order of each dragon, as well as the name and village of their chosen companions?

1) The dragon that will reside in Cranston hatched before Krale and after the one that bonded with Ahren.
2) Evan (who is not from Greystone) was not chosen by Zuria, nor was he chosen by the green dragon.
3) Azazeal (who did not hatch 4th) hatched before the red dragon, but after the bronze (who did not choose Raven).
4) No dragon chose a human whose name begins with the same letter as their own. On the same note, no dragon’s name begins with the same letter as their color.
5) The dragons hatched in the following order: Bael, the one whose companion is from Cairn, the blue dragon, the purple dragon, and the one who chose Jaron.
6) Jaabel did not choose Brandon (who isn’t from Summerhaven), or Raven (who isn’t from Shadowbrook).
7) Raven of Summerhaven was honored to have been chosen by Azazeal.

8) Jaabel hatched before the dragon that bonded with Brandon and after the one that will go to Shadowbrook with Ahren.

Answer:  Answers are listed in order of hatching:

1) Bael, green, Ahren, Shadowbrook
2) Jaabel, bronze, Evan, Cairn
3) Azazeal, blue, Raven, Summerhaven
4) Zuria, purple, Brandon, Cranston

5) Krale, red, Jaron, Greystone

 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
I had a lot of fun putting together the following list of words. Can you figure out the
 rule I used to develop the list? Once you do, have fun creating your own list!

mount, right, left, roll, mote, lick,
lass, over, rate, aunt, rill, arch,
oral, ever, pine, rice, tip, each,
team, rash, sage, ouch, edge, ray,
earn, any
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

Posted In

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s