Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday January 8, 2019

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
If you have your finger touching the rear view mirror that says — “objects in mirror are closer than they appear”, how can that be possible?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock “go off” when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?
Why do they call them “apartments” when they are all stuck together?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy’s Law, will something keep going wrong?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How can someone “draw a blank”?
Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”?
Why is the word “abbreviate” so long?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
Quotes of the Day 
“For sale,” read the ad in our hospital’s weekly newsletter,
“sleeveless wedding gown, white, size 8, veil included. Worn

once, by mistake.”
When hiring new staff at the public library, I always ask applicants
what sort of supervision they’d be most comfortable with. One genius
answered, “I’ve always thought Superman’s X-ray vision would be cool.”
My niece was thrilled to hear that a new car wash was opening
up in her neighborhood. “How convenient,” she said. “I can

walk to it!”

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 
from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent 
part No. 699 instead. Furious at the factory’s incompetence, he promptly sent the
part back along with a letter giving them a piece of his mind. Less than a week later, 
he received the same part back with a letter containing just four words: 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “Buckle your seatbelt Dorothy, ’cause Kansas is going bye-bye.”
Answer: The Matrix!

“The Matrix” is about Neo (Keanu Reeves) who finds out that everyday life is all a facade. Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and his gang take him into the real world when they believe he could be the one to overthrow “the matrix”. He learns that the world as we know it is just a screen, protecting humans from the truth that they are just being bred to power machines. Hugo Weaving also stars as the sinister Agent Smith.

This quote comes from when a character called Cypher (Joe Pantoliano) gives Neo a handy tip that he’s about to see the world in a whole new way by being plugged into “the matrix”. A brilliant film in all but a terrible reference to the “Wizard of Oz”!

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“What happened to Buzzsaw?”
“He had to split.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
I had a lot of fun putting together the following list of words. Can you figure out the

 rule I used to develop the list? Once you do, have fun creating your own list!
mount, right, left, roll, mote, lick,
lass, over, rate, aunt, rill, arch,
oral, ever, pine, rice, tip, each,
team, rash, sage, ouch, edge, ray,
earn, any
Answer:  Each 3 to 5 letter word, when preceded by sequential letters of the alphabet, will form new words:

amount, bright, cleft, droll, emote, flick,
glass, hover, irate, jaunt, krill, larch,
moral, never, opine, price, q-tip, reach,
steam, trash, usage, vouch, wedge, x-ray,

yearn, zany

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
I tower over the man-made plain;

My peaks scrape the heavens.
I have many brothers; in fact,
We may be as many as a hundred and seven.
We’re as ancient as the oldest trees,
But not older than the hills.
We’ve been studied for centuries now,

But with mystery we’re still filled.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.



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