Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday January 9, 2019
 
Things You’ll Never Hear A Father Say……..
* Well how ’bout that? I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.
* You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for non-chaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?
* I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yours” attitude. I like that in a young person!
* Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!
* What do you mean you want to play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
* Your mother and I are going away for while. You might want to consider throwing a party.
* Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickie thingies – you know – that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to the mechanic’s and pay whatever they ask.
* No son of mine is going to live under this roof without a tattoo or an earring. Now quit your belly aching and lets get to the mall.
* Whaddaya want to go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
* Father’s Day? Ah – don’t worry about that – it’s no big deal. I love ties and socks.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
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Quotes of the Day 
“A helping word to one in trouble is like a switch in a
railroad track…an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling

prosperity.” -Henry Ward Beecher
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“All animals, except man, know that the principle
business of life is to enjoy it.” -Samuel Butler
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“All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are
immovable, those who are movable; and those who move.”

-Benjamin Franklin

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“Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping
reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next

to a tree, something is wrong.” – George Carlin
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“It was Spelling Bee night on NBC, that special time of the
year when sixth graders remind us of how stupid we are as adults.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
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“Obviously crime pays, or there’d be no crime.”

– G. Gordon Liddy

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
When a patient was wheeled into our emergency room, I was the
nurse on duty. “On a scale of zero to ten,” I asked her, “with zero
representing no pain and ten representing excruciating pain, what
would you say your pain level is now?” She shook her head. 
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m not good with math.” 😱😳  
 
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“What happened to Buzzsaw?”

“He had to split.”
Answer:  The Running Man!

Arnie’s got to be in here somewhere!
In the futuristic sci-fi flick “The Running Man”, Schwarzenegger plays Ben Richards, who is made into a scapegoat for a massacre and ends up on a reality tv show where convicted felons run for their lives and are killed live on screen by the programme’s gladiators.

Of course, Arnie manages to turn the tables and starts knocking off his pursuers.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Oh, you so gotta die.”
 
 
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
I tower over the man-made plain;

My peaks scrape the heavens.
I have many brothers; in fact,
We may be as many as a hundred and seven.
We’re as ancient as the oldest trees,
But not older than the hills.
We’ve been studied for centuries now,
But with mystery we’re still filled.
Answer: The pyramids of Egypt.

It’s estimated that there are 80-110 pyramids in Egypt, the oldest of which are around 4,500 years old. (The oldest living tree is about 4,750 years old.) Scholars have been studying the pyramids for nearly 200 years, but there are still many questions about them. We don’t even know how they were built!

The Great Pyramid at Giza is one of the Seven Wonders of the World. Some believe that it originally had a golden top that was stolen by tomb raiders.

 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Removing an appendix is called an appendectomy, removing tonsils is called a tonsillectomy.
What is it called when they remove a growth from your head?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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