Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday January 10, 2019
 
 
ELEVEN GREAT PUNS ABOUT THE LAW……

11) Lawyers wear law suits.
10) Next time you get a lawyer a drink, give him just-ice.
9) A lawyer using a facsimile machine must be sure to get his fax straight.
8) A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.
7) Does a lawyer representing an angry cow find just cause for sour milk in a dairy case?
6) A detective likes to have a brief case.
5) The detective who went to investigate a burned down post office figured that it must be blackmail.
4) There are many judges who would like to acquit smoking.
3) Old judges never die, they just slur their sentences.
2) A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest.

1) If there’s one person you don’t want to interrupt in the middle of a sentence, it’s a judge. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
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Quotes of the Day 
“A company is working on a new selfie stick shaped like a human arm so users won’t look
like they’re alone in pictures. Instead you’ll just look like a completely normal person
who’s carrying around a severed human arm.” -Seth Meyers

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“A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy.
The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy
but they prefer to watch you die.” -Conan O’Brien
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“A new survey found that a growing number of millennials want to work from home and
get more time off. They would have said more, but they had to pick up their gold star
for participating in that survey.” -Jimmy Fallon
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
After a long day of shopping, my daughter and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to
pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout 
I was surprised to see my daughter there waiting for me.

“Honey,” I said, “what are you doing in here? I left the motor running.”
“It’s all right, Mom,” she replied reassuringly. “I locked the doors.”😱😳😁😎

 

 
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “Oh, you so gotta die.”
Answer:  I, Robot!

“I, Robot” is set in 2035, in a society where robots are commonplace and people are increasingly reliant on technology. Spooner (Will Smith) is called to investigate the suspicious death of a scientist that sends him to the dangerous truth in the heart of the robotics industry. The above quotation comes from Spooner just before he injects lethal nano bots into the main computer, and ultimate baddie of the film, VIKI. VIKI had decided that in order to keep human beings safe, they had to be protected from each other which basically meant enslaving them all.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Cy!”
 
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Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
 Removing an appendix is called an appendectomy, removing tonsils is called a tonsillectomy.
What is it called when they remove a growth from your head?
Answer:  A haircut😁
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
What is the longest pair of English words that are pronounced exactly the same but share no letter in common?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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