WELCOME to Friday January 24, 2019
Weekend Pungraphy..
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we’re already there?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If you yelled at your plants instead of talking to them, would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
_______________________________________________________________________
Quotes of the Day
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
_______________________________________________________________________
Old men are fond of giving advice to console themselves
for being no longer in a position to give bad examples.
_______________________________________________________________________
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.
_______________________________________________________________________
I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type.
_______________________________________________________________________
He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute
egg, they ask for the money up front.
_______________________________________________________________________
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.
_______________________________________________________________________
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older,
I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
_______________________________________________________________________
When you become senile, you won’t know it.
_______________________________________________________________________
As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
_______________________________________________________________________
I’ve only got one wrinkle and I’m sitting on it.
_______________________________________________________________________
The young have aspirations that never come to pass,
the old have reminiscences of what never happened.
_______________________________________________________________________
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was owned by the town tycoon, a modern-day scrooge. One day during the winter the lake frozen over. The peddler realized that he could cut off two miles from his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted halfway across the lake by the tycoon. Scrooge came racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler, “I’ll be darned if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!” 😳😁😎
_______________________________________________________________________
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
Answer: “Back to the Future”
At the end of the 1985 movie “Back to the Future”, Dr. Emmett Brown responds to Marty’s statement “Hey, Doc, we better back up. We don’t have enough road to get up to 88,” at which point the Delorean takes to the sky, foretelling the arrival of “Back to the Future Part II” in 1989. Robert Zemeckis’ first movie of the “BTTF” trilogy was creative, witty and fascinating, not to mention Michael J. Fox’s springboard (or skateboard) to fame. Christopher Lloyd plays the eccentric Doc Brown (whose key phrase is “Great Scott!”), with Lea Thompson as Lorraine Baines before she was Marty’s mother.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“If you kill him he will win.”
_______________________________________________________________________
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Detective Mick Mace was called to the scene of a beach murder. Two uniformed officers were already there, piecing together the chain of events that lead to the victim’s death.
“Her name is Jina Lange,” the first officer tells Mace, “a 27 year old waitress from ‘Jake’s Palace.’ She was running from someone, but they got her, all right. Knocked her to the ground hard, gashing her head open, and wrapped a belt around her neck. Tried to strangle her to death, but she didn’t die when the perp thought she did. She must have crawled 20 feet or so, but she was going toward the water by mistake. When she realized this, she was probably fading in and out of consciousness, and knew she wasn’t going to make it. Looks like she wrote the word “help” in the sand with her finger, but it has been partially washed away by the approaching tide. See there? The h is half gone already, and the p is missing the stem. We took some pictures for record, though.”
Mick Mace looked down at the woman who lay dead, shuddering as he thought of what it must be like to die at someone else’s hand. What were her last thoughts? What did this woman have to say that someone didn’t want the world to hear?
Suddenly, more cops arrive, with three men in tow. One, they called Jersey, was throwing a fit, his loose pants practically down to his knees in the struggle. “I wasn’t with her! I bought her a drink, but she left without even saying thanks!” The other, older gentlemen, was the club owner. “Name’s Shelby, detective. She was a great lady. This is a tragedy, but I will do anything to help. I saw her leave the club with that guy right there, but that’s all I have.” He pointed to the third man. “Yeah, so? She left with me, but only for a sec, to get some smokes from my car. She came right back, honest!”
At that moment, Mace thinks of a very important clue, and knows exactly who is responsible for Jina’s death. What does he figure out?
Answer: When Mace saw Jina lying in the sand, he knew she had been aware that she didn’t have much time left. So if you wanted help, why not shout out for help? What good does it do to write it in the sand? Wouldn’t she much rather finger the person who did this to her? Mace thought so, and so realized that she had not written “help” in the sand, she had written “Shelby” to finger her killer. However since they found her a bit late, some of the letters had washed away with the waves. Shelby killed her in a fit of rage, when she found out he was stealing money from his own employees at the club.
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
In each group below, the three words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each group.
Example: plo___, tho___, to___ would be plough, though, tough.
1. c___, forw___, rew___
2. cr___, p___, sk___
3. b___, d___, g___
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com
The World According to the Eucman! 