WELCOME to Thursday January 30, 2019
“The Law of Volunteering”
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
“The Law of Avoiding Oversell”
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
“The Law of Reality”
Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose.
“The Law of Self Sacrifice”
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.
“Law of Probable Dispersal”
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
“Law of Volunteer Labor”
People are always available for work in the past tense.
In any organization there is one person who knows
what is going on. That person must be fired.
“Law of Cybernetic Entomology”
There is always one more bug.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Variables won’t; constants aren’t.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
“Berg’s Second Law”
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
Hey I’m just saying! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
The effects are fleeting and lingering…” – Overheard in a hallway
“In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted.” – CBS reporter during the solar eclipse
“A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.” – Announcer on KZOK radio
“He threw 110 pitches in six innings, and that’s a mouthful!” – CBS baseball announcer
“An agreement is not an agreement until the parties to the agreement have reached an agreement.” – Irish Politician on RTE radio
“This is the biggest pawn that Israel holds in the whole hostage equation.” – BBC world service.
“We have two incredibly credible witnesses here.” – Sen. Biden at Thomas hearings from Bob Ericson (Marlboro, MA, USA)
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.” So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. “Why are we digging in the hot sun and you’re standing in the shade?” “Intelligence,” the boss said. “What do you mean, intelligence’?” The boss said, “Well, I’ll show you. I’ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.” The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss’ hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, “That’s intelligence!” The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, “What did he say?” “He said we are down here because of intelligence.” “What’s intelligence?” said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, “Take your shovel and hit my hand.” 😱😳
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“Dead or alive you’re coming with me.”
If you guessed “Weekend at Bernie’s”, shame on you! The quote is said to an evildoer by that wonderful, cyborg crime-fighting machine, RoboCop, or as he was known prior to the surgery, Officer Alex J. Murphy. Set in a future dystopic, crime-ridden Detroit (fiction?), Peter Weller plays a terminally wounded cop who comes back as…well, you know. What’s left of Murphy is encased in an impenetrable steel shell making him the perfect (umm?) person to vanquish the bad guys. Everything is pretty cool except for the bad memories and the supervillian, Clarence Boddicker, played by Kurtwood Smith.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
” Who is Keyser Soze?”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Answer the clues with a pair of rhyming words.
(plump feline = fat cat)
1. unadorned necklace
2. happy fellow
3. old story
4. dim enamel
5. timid gnat
6. colorless shellfish
7. big boat
Answer: 1. plain chain
2. glad lad
3. stale tale
4. faint paint
5. shy fly
6. drab crab
7. large barge
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
A rich man’s son was kidnapped. The ransom note told him to bring a valuable diamond to a phone booth in the middle of a public park. Plainclothes police officers surrounded the park, intending to follow the criminal or his messenger. The rich man arrived at the phone booth and followed instructions but the police were powerless to prevent the diamond from leaving the park and reaching the crafty villain. What did he do?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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