Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday February 3, 2020
 
Natural Laws………
“The Law of Volunteering”
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
“The Law of Avoiding Oversell”
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
“The Law of Reality”
Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose.
“The Law of Self Sacrifice”
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
“Barnes’ Law”
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.
“Law of Probable Dispersal”
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
“Law of Volunteer Labor”
People are always available for work in the past tense.
“Conway’s Law”
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
“Law of Cybernetic Entomology”
There is always one more bug.
“Heller’s Law”
The first myth of management is that it exists.
“Osborne’s Law”
Variables won’t; constants aren’t.
“Main’s Law”
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
“Berg’s Second Law”
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then
the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
Hey I’m just saying! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
 
“A man broke a Guinness world record by walking barefoot on a 120-foot path
of loose Legos. This beats the old record set by every dad getting up
to use the bathroom at night.” -Jimmy Fallon

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“In the news yesterday, North Korea suggested that it would like to reunite with
South Korea. I think something’s up because today South Korea gave
North Korea its Netflix password.” -Conan O’Brien
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“If you don’t know what it is, the World Economic Forum is an annual gathering of
the super rich. It’s funny how super rich people hang out together. You don’t see
that at other income levels. ‘You make 80 grand a year? Me too! Well,
let’s go do something, take a trip.'” -Jimmy Kimmel

_____________________________________________________________

“At the Plaza Hotel, the lights went off right before a couple exchanged vows.
Even worse, the bride had just said, ‘God, if this is a mistake,
please give me a sign.'” -Jimmy Fallon

_____________________________________________________________
“China has banned hip hop from Chinese television, which is bad news
for China’s biggest hip hop star, the Notorious MSG.” -Conan O’Brien
_____________________________________________________________
“The Taj Mahal is currently undergoing its first cleaning since its construction
in the 1600s. ‘Maybe we should do that,’ said New York.” -Seth Meyers
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
To prepare for my daughter’s First Communion, I called the church in the town where
we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate. We lived there for only a short while,
so I didn’t know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father,
I told her that I couldn’t remember. After a brief silence, she said, “Ma’am,
I’m talking about the name of the baby’s father.” 😱😳😁😎
 
 
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“With great power comes great responsibility.”

Answer:  Spider-Man!

Yes, it was the teenage Peter Parker, aka Spider-man, who was wise enough to live by this line, as he understands the responsibilities of his powers. Raised by Aunt May and Uncle Ben (for a time), Peter was just a regular high school student with all the troubles and tribulations associated with that until…well, you know the rest. The quote has been attributed to Uncle Ben saying the phrase to Peter Parker in “Spider-Man” (2002). However, “With Great Power, There Must Also Come – Great Responsibility!” could be found as an unspoken line in the 1962 Comic “Amazing Fantasy” #15, and before that Voltaire wrote it (1694-1778)!
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“shaken and not stirred”
 
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Friday’s Quizzler is….​
 In each sentence below, two words are incomplete. The two words end in the same three letters,
so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.

Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
1. A pig farmer’s job could be called p___ w___.
2. A dog injury could be called a ho___ wo___.
3. For racing, a mixed ho___ is wo___ than a thoroughbred.

4. I he___ your be___ has been shaved into a goatee.

Answer:   1. pork work

2. hound wound
3. horse worse

4. heard beard

 
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Female kangaroos carry their young (joeys) in a pouch. Likewise, kangaroo words contain another
 word (a joey) within themselves. A joey word is a synonym of the kangaroo word, and the letters must be in the same order.

Example: “rapscallion” contains the word “rascal”: RApSCALlion
See if you can find the joey words in these kangaroo words:
1. because
2. astound
3. municipality
4. charisma
5. damsel
See if you can find two joey words in this kangaroo word:

6. masculine

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com
 ​

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