Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday February 6, 2020
 
Old Humor……..
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kick
OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade away
OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that way
OLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones do
OLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment away
OLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave in
OLD STEELMAKERS never die, they just lose their temper
OLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degraded
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocks
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just kick-off
OLD SYSTEM USERS never die, they just chdir to NULL
OLD TANNERS never die, they just go into hiding
OLD TAPE DISPENSERS never die, they just get used up.
Hey I’m just saying! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
 
Steven Wright 101:

You know how it is when you’re reading a book and falling asleep, you’re reading, reading . . . And all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I’m like that all the time.
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Last night, I walked up to this beautiful woman in a bar and asked her, “Do you live around here often?” She said, “You’re wearing two different colored socks.” I said, “Yes, but to me they’re the same because I go by thickness.” Then she asked, “How do you feel?” and I said, “Well, you know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.”
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Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic. I mimic my shadow.
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I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one . . . It wasn’t doing what I was doing.
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I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me–and I didn’t hear it.
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I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is. Every once in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.”
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He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, “Yes, but not right now.”
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I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don’t accidentally
walk through into another dimension.
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by. Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. “Well,” he replied, “you better start thinking about it. You’ll be thirty before you know it.” “But I’m closer to twenty than to thirty,” I protested. “I won’t be thirty for eight more years.” “I see,” he said, smiling. “And when will you be twenty again?” 😳
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
‘I know what you’re thinkin’. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question.

Answer:  ‘Dirty Harry’
Clint Eastwood, who played Detective Harry Callahan in five movies, said these lines in the first of the ‘Dirty Harry’ movies. He was pointing his gun at a bank robber at the beginning of the film. At the end of the movie, he said almost exactly the same lines to the Scorpio Killer (Andrew Robinson), the man he chased throughout the movie. This has been parodied and misquoted many times since 1971, when ‘Dirty Harry’ was released.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
‘Every one of you listening to my voice, tell the world. Tell this to everybody, wherever they are. Watch the skies, everywhere, keep looking. Keep watching the skies.’
 
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Following are 6 words that have the same two letters repeated at some point. Those two letters have been removed, replaced by two sets of asterisks. Can you figure out which two letters to use in each word? You use the same two letters within each word, but use a different set of letters for each word.

1. **chorm**
2. **joym**t
3. **iqu**te
4. **ip**ape
5. **s**cere

6. **p**zard

Answer:  1. an = anchorman

2. en = enjoyment
3. et = etiquette
4. sh = shipshape
5. in = insincere

6. ha = haphazard

 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Two boys were sent by their mothers to sell an equal amount of cupcakes each, worth one dollar per cupcake.

They were told not to eat the cupcakes they are selling, and that they should sell all of the cupcakes.
At the end of the day, all cupcakes were sold, yet neither boy gained nor lost a dollar.

What happened?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com
 

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