Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday February 11, 2020
 
Miscellaneous terms for Happy Tuesday…….
Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse \e-klips’\: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes \hee’-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Misty \mis’-tee\: How golfers create divots.
Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: Two physicians.
Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.

Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: What penguins see with.

Hey I’m just saying! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a happy
Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget
to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
 
Rodney Dangerfield, I get no respect 101

“Good crowd…good crowd. I’m telling you I could use a good crowd. I’m ok now but
last week I was in rough shape… Why? I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
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“I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west!”
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“My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.”
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“When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father…
I’m very sorry. We did everything we could…but he pulled through.”
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“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”
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“My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.”
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“When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.”
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“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
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“What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!”

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. “What are they doing?” she asked the tour guide. “Each year,” he replied with a grin, “the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard.”  When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: “So, what’s the answer?” The guide replied: “One.”😱😁😎
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
‘Come on… Come on! Do it! Do it! Come on. Come on! Kill me! I’m here! Kill me! I’m here! Kill me! Come on! Kill me! I’m here! Come on! Do it now! Kill me!’

Answer:  Predator!

Near the end of the movie, Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger) was trying to lure the predator into a trap and he yelled at the creature. The man who played the predator (Kevin Peter Hall), also played the chopper pilot that flew Dutch away at the end of the movie.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
‘Oh, I’ve chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!’ ‘This is blasphemy! This is madness!’
 
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Monday’s Quizzler is….​
A rich man’s son was kidnapped. The ransom note told him to bring a valuable diamond to a phone booth in the middle of a public park. Plainclothes police officers surrounded the park, intending to follow the criminal or his messenger. The rich man arrived at the phone booth and followed instructions but the police were powerless to prevent the diamond from leaving the park and reaching the crafty villain. What did he do?

Answer:  This is a true story from Taiwan. When the rich man reached the phone booth he found a carrier pigeon

 in a cage. It had a message attached telling the man to put the diamond in a small bag which was around the pigeon’s neck and to release the bird.
When the man did this the police were powerless to follow the bird as it returned across the city to its owner.
 
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
You are given five words and five definitions. Each of the words can be anagrammed into a two word phrase that fits one of the definitions. Your task is to assign each definition to its corresponding word. Example – cobalt: to hit a feline in a high arc (cat lob)

Words: armadillo, grandmother, pharmacist, sedimentary, vacation

Definitions:
a bed for a bird
a mob, all carrying guns
a wagon accident
filthy sailors
pungent pickle odor

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com
 

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