WELCOME to Wednesday February 19, 2020
Laws of Life:
* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five
items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought,
he will forget two of the first five.
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* Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are
to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
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* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase
your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
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* Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.
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* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always
wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.
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* Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.
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* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the
way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
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* Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will
go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
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Hey I’m just saying! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a
wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget
to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
Robert Schmidt…………
I’m in Campaign, I listen to the great music on Rock 107, and when out of town … they mail it to me.
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Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.”
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“I own the erasers for all the miniature golf pencils”
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I want to start a car repair shop. I have already got the air for the tires.
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My grandma says she has eyes in the back of her head… I hope it’s not hereditary.
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When I was 10, my pa told me never to talk to strangers … we haven’t spoken since.
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A wino asked me for change… I gave him my shirt.
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I don’t like dogs … keep getting mustard on my catching glove.
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My mom called me last night … I’m over it now. I was thinking of calling her back … there it passed…
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: “WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!” He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons
have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: “NOW THERE ARE TWO!” 😳😁😎
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“No! No! No! It’s not supposed to happen this way! I’m supposed to go first. I’ve always been ready to go first! I-I don’t think I can take this”?
Answer: Steel Magnolias!
M’Lynn and her friends were leaving Shelby’s funeral when M’Lynn broke out in tears and gave this heart wrenching speech.
“Steel Magnolias” was based on the real life of Susan Harling, who died of complications from diabetes. Robert Harling was having trouble becoming an established author. After his sister’s death, he wrote the play, “Steel Magnolias’. The play established Robert Harling as an authentic writer. It’s based on the last three years of Susan Harling’s life.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I want to tell you a story. I’m going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves”.
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
What one three-letter word can be placed in the blanks below to make four different words?
___less
___ure
___orse
___ing
Answer: End
Endless
Endure
Endorse
Ending
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
I stare at you,
you stare at me.
I have three eyes,
Yet I cannot see.
Every time I blink,
I give commands.
You do as you are told.
With your feet and hands.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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