Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday February 26, 2020
The Funny Side of Marriage……………. 

One woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied,
“Well, yes, but I married the wrong man.”
Getting married is very much like going out to a
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then
when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you
had ordered that.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries
her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
A man once said, “I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and then it was too late.”
A man took out a classified ad saying “Wife wanted”.
The next day he received a hundred responses saying “You
can have mine.”
Some men define marriage as a very expensive way to get
your laundry done free.
And some learn that the most effective way to remember
your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you
know that either the wife is new – or the car is.
Husband: “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”

Wife: “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t care!”

Hey I’m just saying! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a
wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget
to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
 
 “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

– Oscar Wilde
________________________________________________________
“The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it.”
– Napoleon Bonaparte
________________________________________________________
“A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.”

– Katharine Whitehorn

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor  down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes man, I’ll go and kill my own “croc!,” to which the shopkeeper replied, “by all means, just watch out for those two “ole boys” who are doing the same!”.  So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. ‘They must be the ‘ole boys’ he thought.  Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer.  Just as the beast was about to swallow him,
he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed “Darn!  This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”. 😳😱😁
 
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come, Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball”.
Answer:  “Field of Dreams”
Terence Mann was a fictional author played by James Earl Jones. While sitting at the finished baseball diamond at their house, Terence Mann gives Ray this inspirational speech. In the book, Ray Kinsella visited real-life author J.D. Salinger. The voice that Ray Kinsella heard in the movie was Ray Liotta.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Do you know anyone that wouldn’t turn you in for two million dollars? I don’t think you do. I doubt it. So wherever you go and whatever you do, this money will be tracking you down for all time”.
TODAY’S MOVIE DIVA OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! SUPER SOLVING JOB KIM!👍👍👍👍
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Sir Col was touring Europe in his car and arrived in the city of Zurich, Switzerland. Upon locating a parking space next to a lake he placed enough money in the parking meter for one hour. Two hours later he returned to his car to find a parking ticket on his windscreen.

After a little thought he came up with an idea, and in thirty minutes he was able to drive out of the city without any need of paying his fine. How did he perform this scam?
Answer:  He went to the nearest police station and told them, “It is rather embarrassing, but I parked my car a couple of hours ago and I’ve been looking for it for the last hour. All I know is that I parked it near a lake.”  The Swiss police being entirely sympathetic of his predicament and wanting to please a visitor to their city mounted a search operation for his car. They were so happy to have found it that they sent him on his way, feeling they’d done a good deed for an unfortunate tourist. 
 
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. This time though, there are only three that you need to find.

Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)
1. In the general area, but failing to acquire the roll of tobacco.
2. Please pardon my accidental use of a romance language derived from Latin.

3. Direct your attention to the melodic tones currently occurring.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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