Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday March 20, 2020
Life’s Little Moments of Destruction…….
The meek shall inherit the Earth after we’re done with it.
Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
Money can’t buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
Everyone needs belief in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
I can tell you’re lying. Your lips are moving.
There’s nothing more restful than taking orders from fools.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys.
He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.
I’m not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.
Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a
great social distancing weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget 
to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 

Hard work never killed anybody, but

why take a chance? Edgar Bergen

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I could prove God
statistically. George Gallup
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States,
unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Dave Barry
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If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.😱😳
Dick Cavett
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Beware the pull on your heartstrings — it’s often the pursestrings
that are actually being reached for. Barbara Mikkelson
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Put your whole self into it, and you will find your true voice. Hold back
and you won’t. It’s that simple. Hugh Macleod,
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
It seems that Mary Poppins has moved to California. She has started a business
telling people’s fortunes. But, she doesn’t read palms or tea leaves, she smells
one’s breath. That, right, the sign outside reads: Super California Mystic Expert Halitosis. 😏😌
 
 
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“Did you think I’d be too stupid to know what a eugoogly is?”
Answer: “Zoolander”
This quote is from the 2001 movie “Zoolander”, starring Ben Stiller as a male model; tagline “3% Body Fat. 1% Brain Activity”. Derek Zoolander is at the top of the fashion world, despite the fact (as you can see) that he is, umm, ‘a couplet sort of a sonnet’. When talking to Matilda Jeffries (Christine Taylor), Derek asks if she’s there to tell him what a bad “eugoogoolizer”. He is. When Matilda says “A what?”, he responds by saying “A eugoogoolizer …one who speaks at funerals”, at which point he says the quote in the question. Stiller was Larry Daley in “Night at the Museum” (2009), Greg Focker in “Meet the Parents” (2000), and White Goodman in “Dodgeball” (2004).
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!”😁
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Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Every clue below can be answered with a two word phrase in which each word contains OR. Your job is to figure out what they are. Good luck.

1. Title for the head of London
2. Largest city in the Beaver State
3. Northern Lights
4. Author of 1984
5. Piece of paper you fill out in a catalog
6. Twining plant with funnel-shaped flowers
7. Pyongyang’s country

8. Neighborhood place to buy a quart of milk

Answer:  1. Lord Mayor

2. Portland Oregon
3. Aurora Borealis
4. George Orwell
5. Order Form
6. Morning Glory
7. North Korea

8. Corner Store

 
 
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
A very mean king went to a nearby village. He wanted some more slaves to serve him at his royal palace. He decided that if any family in the village had more than five children, he would take them. A cobbler and his wife had ten children. When the king came to take them, the cobbler and his wife begged and begged. Finally the king said, “I see that you have ten pairs of shoes in a box. If you can give each of your children a pair and still leave one pair out of ten in the box, you can keep your children. The cobbler and his wife began to smile at each other. How did they keep all of their children?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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