WELCOME to Monday March 30, 2020
OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expire
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six
OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away
OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged
OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties
OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull
OLD DIETERS never die, they just waist away
OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time
OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop
OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board
OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring
OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience
OLD EDITORS do it with a red pen
OLD ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die, they just have slower rise times
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget
to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“A new study found that humans started wearing clothes
about 170,000 years ago. In fact, the first sentence ever
spoken was, ‘Me look fat in this?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Always do right. This will gratify some people and
astonish the rest.”
– Mark Twain
“The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months
in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would
never hear the evidence.”
– H. L. Mencken
“A teenager in the northwest survived 10 hours on a mountain
using tips from the Discovery Channel show ‘Man vs. Wild.’
And also, because it was only 10 hours.” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play
with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a
care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser’s
owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out of
the bushes jumped a man all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face,
and was gesturing annoyingly at Trouser’s masters. This strange person spoke
not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box and that he
was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on his masters’ faces, Trouser
took it upon himself to rectify the situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank
his teeth into this annoying pseudo clown’s leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened
look in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue all over the
ground in an effort to remove the man’s foul essence from his mouth.
For Trouser had learned that …. a mime is a terrible thing to taste. 😱😳😁😎
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
I’m a creation of Cyberdyne Industries on a one track mission to locate and destroy..
Answer: The Terminator
This quote is from “The Terminator”, which sees Arnie sent back from the future to kill Sarah Connor, the future mother of rebel leader John Connor. After uttering the famous line Arnie does indeed come back, in a car, right through the front door! Although most remembered for its use in the “Terminator” series of films, Arnie has been using it in movies before and since, notably:
“Commando” (1985) – “I’ll be back, Bennett!”
“Raw Deal” (1986) – “I’ll be right back.”
“Last Action Hero” (1993) – “I’ll be back…. Ha! Bet you didn’t expect me to say that!”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, ‘I’ll be right back.’ Because you won’t be back.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
The following not only describes a famous monument, but is an anagram for its name. What is it?
Built to Stay Free
Answer: Statue of Liberty
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Birbal was jester, counselor, and fool to the great Moghul emperor, Akbar. The villagers loved to talk of Birbal’s wisdom and cleverness, and the emperor loved to try to outsmart him. One day Akbar (emperor) drew a line across the floor. “Birbal,” he ordered, “you must make this line shorter, but you cannot erase any bit of it.”
Everyone present thought the emperor had finally outsmarted Birbal. It was clearly an impossible task. Yet within moments the emperor and everyone else present had to agree that Birbal had made the line shorter without erasing any of it. How could this be?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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