WELCOME to Tuesday March 31, 2020
Thinking out Loud…..
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help
section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget
to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“A company created a bathroom scale that allows you to tweet
your weight to your friends. The company immediately went
out of business.” -Conan O’Brien
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“NASA released photos of a mysterious green blob floating
out in space. Either that or someone sneezed on the tele-
scope.” -Jimmy Kimmel
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“A Swedish firm has designed an efficient city featuring
buildings on wheels that can be moved in or out of town as
desired. This ingenious city of the future is known as a
trailer park.” -Conan O’Brien
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If it weren’t for the fact that the TV and the refrigerator
are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
The French will eat almost anything. A young cook decided that the French would
enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the
finer restaurants in the city. He searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to
raise his rabbits. None could be found. Finally, an old priest at the cathedral said he
could have a small area behind the rectory for his rabbits. He successfully raised a
number of them, and when he went about Paris selling them, a restaurant owner
asked him where he got such fresh rabbits. The young man replied, “I raise them myself,
near the cathedral. In fact, I have … a hutch back of Notre Dame. 😳😁😎
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, ‘I’ll be right back.’ Because you won’t be back.”
Answer: Scream!
This quote is given to us courtesy of the character Randy, while at Stu’s house party. My favorite piece of trivia for “Scream” is that to make sure Drew Barrymore looked genuinely scared and upset, the director Wes Craven kept telling her real life stories about animal cruelty. She’s an avid animal lover in real life.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’ll be back before you can say blueberry pie.” Fabienne replies, “Blueberry pie.” I reply, “Maybe not that fast.”
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Monday’s Quizzler is….
Birbal was jester, counselor, and fool to the great Moghul emperor, Akbar. The villagers loved to talk of Birbal’s wisdom and cleverness, and the emperor loved to try to outsmart him. One day Akbar (emperor) drew a line across the floor. “Birbal,” he ordered, “you must make this line shorter, but you cannot erase any bit of it.”
Everyone present thought the emperor had finally outsmarted Birbal. It was clearly an impossible task. Yet within moments the emperor and everyone else present had to agree that Birbal had made the line shorter without erasing any of it. How could this be?
Everyone present thought the emperor had finally outsmarted Birbal. It was clearly an impossible task. Yet within moments the emperor and everyone else present had to agree that Birbal had made the line shorter without erasing any of it. How could this be?
Answer: Birbal simply drew a line longer than the first, which made the first line shorter than the second.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
There are three houses built exactly the same. One is filled with cotton, the other with wood, and the third with iron. One day an arsonist sets them all on fire. The sound of sirens was growing louder at the scene. People were screaming. Which house did the ambulance try to put the fire out at first?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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