WELCOME to Wednesday April 1, 2020
Here’s the Story…..
One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale’s Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies, “Well, sonny, I can’t remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger.” The owner replies, “Well, let’s see… Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?”
The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, “I want this color sonny.” To which Nathan replies, “Ma’am I’m sorry, but we don’t have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?” “No son, I want this color.” “But ma’am, they didn’t make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?” says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale.
By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about. The secretary replies, “Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman’s corn!” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said “Help Wanted.” There was another sign below it that said “Self Service.” So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only 2″ taller.
I’m kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game *he* was watching was better.
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A Grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning when he had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, “Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?” Her grandson said, “Grandma, it says on TV-‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'” 😁😁😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“I’ll be back before you can say blueberry pie.” Fabienne replies, “Blueberry pie.” I reply, “Maybe not that fast.”
Answer: Pulp Fiction!
This quote is from “Pulp Fiction”. In the film, Christopher Walken explains to a young Butch what his forefathers had to go through to get the watch back which involved his father putting the watch in an unconventional hiding place, among much else. A very upset Butch now has to risk going back to his house while a bunch of gun-toting gangsters are after him! Against the odds, Butch does make it back, with a chopper no less (cheers Zed!).
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I promise, I’ll come back for you. I promise, I’ll never leave you.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
There are three houses built exactly the same. One is filled with cotton, the other with wood, and the third with iron. One day an arsonist sets them all on fire. The sound of sirens was growing louder at the scene. People were screaming. Which house did the ambulance try to put the fire out at first?
Answer: Ambulances do not put out fires.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Each of the clues below describe a 70’s American TV show. Can you name each show?
1. Ruffles, Pringles, Frito-Lays
2. 911 !
3. The aeronautically capable, habit wearing female (3)
4. A four wheeled vehicle, driven by a person whose job it is to take passengers and their luggage where they want to go in exchange for a fee
5. More than seven, nine is too much (3)
6. Small abode on the treeless tract of land (5)
7. Mixture of the sodium salts of various fatty acids of natural oils and fats
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.
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