WELCOME to Thursday April 2, 2020
Here’s the story….
The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York.
After the first day’s competition, many of the winners were sitting around
in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about
their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and
louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn’t take any more and kicked them out.
The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him
there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests….
instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy.
The clerk responded, “I’m sorry, but if there’s one thing I can’t stand,
it’s chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
Steven Wright….AGAIN..
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading
accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
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I installed a skylight in my apartment…. The people who
live above me are furious!
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs
synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to
rob a department store… With a pricing gun… She said, “Give me all
of the money in the vault, or I’m marking down everything in the store.”
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While I was gone, somebody rearranged all the furniture in my bedroom.
They put it in *exactly* the same place it was. When I told my roommate,
he said: “Do I know you?”
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In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so
often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from
a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”
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Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real
brick wall, just so I’d be the only one who knew. People come over and
I’m gonna say, “Go ahead, touch it… It feels real.”
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above…
So I never have to go upstairs.
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on
my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty
pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very
pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new
girl had started. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous.
He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious
that she was interested in him too. But this guy was a loyal man and he
wouldn’t get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with her and get
it on with the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he
couldn’t bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the
river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current
carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by
the river and then ran off smiling and singing:
“I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone”😱😳😁😎
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“I promise, I’ll come back for you. I promise, I’ll never leave you.”
Answer: The English Patient!
Ralph Fiennes plays the title role in “The English Patient”, which won an incredible nine oscars, and was nominated for three others. A fantastic achievement! Ralph plays the Count, a man who loses his memory in a plane crash but keeps having flashbacks of his former life, notably one with his love interest Katharine Clifton, played by Kristin Scott Thomas.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Was it something I said?”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Each of the clues below describe a 70’s American TV show. Can you name each show?
1. Ruffles, Pringles, Frito-Lays
2. 911 !
3. The aeronautically capable, habit wearing female (3)
4. A four wheeled vehicle, driven by a person whose job it is to take passengers and their luggage where they want to go in exchange for a fee
5. More than seven, nine is too much (3)
6. Small abode on the treeless tract of land (5)
7. Mixture of the sodium salts of various fatty acids of natural oils and fats
Answer: 1. CHiPs
2. Emergency!
3. The Flying Nun
4. Taxi
5. Eight is Enough
6. Little House on the Prairie
7. Soap
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
And now for more in the tradition of the Vowel-less Knights:
1. Mnds r lk prchts – th nl fnctn whn pn.
2. Bwr f smll xpnss, smll lk wll snk grt shp.
3. Prblms cnnt b slvd t th sm lvl f wrnss tht crtd thm.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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