WELCOME to Thursday April 9, 2020
Here’s the Story….
Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise. She booked passage on a cruise liner – first class all the way… The cruise started off in a grandiose scale, dancing and parties every night. But Penny was a cautious girl, so she never drank, but just danced the night away.
One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was walking back to her cabin, when the heel on her left shoe broke throwing her off balance. If that wasn’t enough, the ship chose that moment to tilt to the left. As a result, Penny was thrown overboard. A hue and a cry were immediately raised, and after about five minutes they found Penny. Hauling her aboard, the ship’s crew realized that it was too late, poor Penny was dead.
Normally, they would have done a burial at sea, but as I said before, Penny was a very
conscientious girl, and had written a will. In it, she specified that she wished for her body to be cremated, and kept in a jar on her parent’s fireplace mantel. Her wishes were fulfilled, which just goes to show you that a Penny saved is a Penny urned.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“Content makes poor men rich;
discontentment makes rich men poor.”
– Benjamin Franklin
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“Marriage is a great institution,
but I’m not ready for an institution yet.”
– Mae West
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“The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought
not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe
to be just.”- Abraham Lincoln
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“They say that kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray,
which is a good thing to remember the next time you get
lonely.” -Fred Stoller
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“Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody
can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.”
-Demetri Martin
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A scientist was successful in cloning himself. He was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper. The scientist arrived with his clone and proceeded to the podium. The clone sat at the end of the head table. The scientist began the speech intending a tribute to the advances in the field of modern biology. “My fellow scientists,” he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone sprang to his feet and shouted out, “he’s an idiot!”. The crowd began to murmur as the scientist commanded the clone to “sit down and shut-up!”. Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, “My fellow scientists,”. Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, “this dumb idiot couldn’t produce a copy on a Xerox. He’s fraudulent lying scum!”. Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window. The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New York’s finest arrived and
were explained the events that had transpired. The police chief said to the scientist, “We are going to have to arrest you.” The scientist replied, “For what? I have committed no crime. What fell from the window was a clone, not a person.”. The attending scientists nodded in agreement. “Well,” retorted the police chief, “we can not let this heinous act go unchallenged.” The police chief thought for a moment and ordered the scientist held for
“Making an obscene clone fall…” 😱😳😁😎
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“The most important thing in business is honesty, integrity, hard work, family, never forgetting where we came from. See, you are what you are in this world, that’s either one of two things: Either you’re somebody… or you’re nobody. I’ll be right back.”
Answer: American Gangster!
This film saw Denzel Washington in the lead role with Russell Crowe as the maverick detective hell-bent on bringing him down. Real buffs will remember the original theatrical trailer which had the above quote playing in the background. In the film, he says the line while talking in a diner to his young protégés and followers. Frank Lucas was born in 1930 in North Carolina and operated in Harlem in the late 1960s – 1970s. He managed his business so well by cutting out the “middle-men” of drug trafficking, thus enhancing profits.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’ll be right back”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Oh, no! Chris, Dan, Jorge, Karl, and Eric have forgotten about Valentine’s Day! And, it’s February 13th! Each has bought a last-minute gift for his girlfriend, fiancee, or wife, wrapped in a different color. Figure out which gift each bought, the wrapping color, who he bought for, and what the relationships are.
The five men are Dan, the guy who sent roses, the man who sent chocolate, Eric, and Zoe’s fiance.
The roses were wrapped in green. The chocolate was not wrapped in pink and white.
The teddy bear was given to the 4 month girlfriend, who is not Tina.
A delighted wife received a gift wrapped in purple. An equally happy girlfriend, not Tina, had a red-covered present.
Carla has been dating for only 4 months, and Zoe was the most recently engaged.
No man has the same first initial as his girlfriend, fiancee, or wife.
Eric wasn’t proposing to Tina, but gave her a ring, anyway. They are not married.
Chris knows Zoe hates mushy stuff, so he got her an electronic device, wrapped in a color not normally associated with Valentine’s Day.
Jorge gave his fiancee a gift in emerald wrapping paper that matched the color of her eyes.
Answer: Chris, Zoe, 2 months engaged, Laptop, Blue
Dan, Carla, 4 months dating, Teddy Bear, Red
Jorge, Ellen, 3 months engaged, Roses, Green
Karl, Joann, Married, Chocolate, Purple
Eric, Tina, 6 months dating, Ring, Pink and White
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Doctor Dodge was staying with Cousin Jamie in Jamie’s lakeside cabin. They were setting up Jamie’s will. As Dodge was Jamie’s closest living relative, much of Jamie’s estate was being left to him.
One day, Jamie went to Dr Dodge very disturbed. “Doctor,” he began, “I have just found out that a man named Georgio wants to get me. He will be here very soon. Where will I go? Where can I hide? If he finds me in here, he will surely kill me. I do not have time to leave this clearing and go farther into the woods.”
Dr Dodge thought for a moment, and then grabbed a 5′ long bamboo pole, with a diameter the size of a quarter. “Jamie, follow me out to the lake. This lake is 4′ deep. If you lie on the bottom of the lake and breathe through this pole, Georgio will never find you. I will be in the bulrushes with a shotgun, and I will shoot him when he comes. I will swim down to find you when he is gone.”
Jamie consented, and lay down on the bottom of the lake with the bamboo pole in his mouth. A few hours later, a ranger passed by. He found Jamie’s body, dead. Dr Dodge told the police of the circumstance, and that Jamie had probably panicked, and died.
Police arrested Dr Dodge, on the charges of murdering Jamie. Why?
The bamboo pole did not have any cracks or holes. Its opening was above water the whole time.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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