WELCOME to Wednesday April 15, 2020
Advantages to turning 65…..
* People no longer consider you a hypochondriac.
* Your assorted joints can forecast weather changes.
* No one expects you to run into a burning building.
* There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them.
* In a hostage situation you’re likely to be released first.
* You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
* Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
* You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room.
* Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
* Your eyes won’t get much worse.
* You can sing along with elevator music.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, stay inside, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“Always be nice to your children because they are
the ones who will choose your rest home.” – Phyllis Diller
“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s
recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” – Bob Hope
“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing
on the shore like an idiot.” – Steven Wright
“Experts say this global warming is serious, and they
are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party
ice.” –David Letterman
“In New Jersey hunters will soon be able to hunt bear. Hunting
of bears is being made legal. A word to New Jersey residents
– running over a bear in your Camaro is not hunting.”–Craig Kilborn
“I have to talk to my girlfriend every day on the phone. My
husband says, ‘Why do you have to talk to her again today?
You just talked to her yesterday. What could you possibly have
to tell her?’ ‘Well, for one thing, I have to tell her
you just said that.'” –Rita Rudner
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of
voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while
the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from
an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”
“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded the jury candidate.
“During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All
I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.” She wasn’t selected for the jury.😱
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“Oh, you so gotta die.”
Answer: I, Robot
“I, Robot” is set in 2035, in a society where robots are commonplace and people are increasingly reliant on technology. Spooner (Will Smith) is called to investigate the suspicious death of a scientist that sends him to the dangerous truth in the heart of the robotics industry. The above quotation comes from Spooner just before he injects lethal nano bots into the main computer, and ultimate baddie of the film, VIKI. VIKI had decided that in order to keep human beings safe, they had to be protected from each other which basically meant enslaving them all. I thought this was a pretty lame line – he could have said something like “nobody likes a clever clogs”, but then, I’m no scriptwriter.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
With his tossing partner, Lenny, Manny is about to try another daring trick using five balls! Manny will start with five four-letter words and Lenny will hold five letters: A, B, C, D, and E. After Manny rearranges each word to form another four-letter word, Lenny will toss one of the letters over to Manny which, when put at the beginning of each new four-letter word, will create a new five-letter word! Unfortunately Lenny has forgotten just which letter to toss at which time…..
Here’s an example. Manny starts with the word PALM. He juggles it to create LAMP. Now Lenny could toss over the C to make the word CLAMP!
Here are the words. First, rearrange each four-letter word into a new one. Then, add either A, B, C, D or E at the beginning of the new word to create a brand new five-letter word. Each of Lenny’s five letters will be used only once.
WARNING! While some words can be rearranged different ways to be used with more than one of Lenny’s letters, there is only one combination that will allow each of his letters to be used only once.
Answer: MEAL to LAME + B = BLAME
TALE to LATE + E = ELATE
LANE to LEAN + C = CLEAN
TARP to PART + A = APART
VEIL to EVIL + D = DEVIL
If ALIVE, BLEAT, CLEAT, or CAMEL are created, all five letters cannot be used.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Bob was having a big party. He decided on a technique to get lots of people to come. He invited his five closest friends and said that they could each invite 4 people.
Each of those could invite 3.
Each of those could invite 2.
Each of those could invite 1.
Overall, how many people did Bob invite to his party?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com