WELCOME to Thursday April 16, 2020
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN (REPOST)
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.😳
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.😱
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.😁
7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, stay inside, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“Experts say the majority of Facebook users had their data
harvested from taking online quizzes. So, it’s worse than we
thought – now, Russia also knows how stupid we are.” -Conan O’Brien
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“Flu season is behind us, allergy season is here. It’s nice to see
people in L.A. allergic to something other than gluten for a change.” -Jimmy Kimmel
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“A new report did not name New York City as one of the 25 best
places to live in the country. ‘I’m shocked!’ said an adult
New Yorker with six roommates.” -Seth Meyers
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
One day Ole and Sven were paging through the Sears Catalog and admiring all the beautiful models.
Ole said to Sven, “Haf you seen da perdy girls in dis catalog?”
Sven replied, “Ya. Dey sure are bootiful, an yust look at da prices!”
Ole looked wide eyed and said, “Yumpin’ yimminy. Dey ain’t very expensive. At dees prices I’m buyin’ me vun.”
Sven smiled, patted Ole on the back and said, “by golly Ole, if she’s as perdy as she looks in da catalog, I vill get vun too.”
A couple weeks later Sven came by and asked Ole, “did ja ever git dat girl you ordered from da Sears Catalog?”
Ole replied, “no, but it von’t be long now, her clothes came yesterday!” 😳😁😎
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“Finger-lickin’ good!”
Answer: “Constantine”
This comic-book adaptation is about John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) whose soul has been promised to Satan but who excorcises demons on Earth to try and get back in God’s good books. He can cross the boundaries of Hell and teams up with Angela (Rachel Weisz) to investigate the mysterious death of her twin sister.
This awful, cringe-inducing one-liner comes from Satan’s helper Balthazar (Gavin Rossdale) telling John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) how tasty he thinks he is.
This awful, cringe-inducing one-liner comes from Satan’s helper Balthazar (Gavin Rossdale) telling John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) how tasty he thinks he is.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Onara!”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Bob was having a big party. He decided on a technique to get lots of people to come. He invited his five closest friends and said that they could each invite 4 people.
Each of those could invite 3.
Each of those could invite 2.
Each of those could invite 1.
Overall, how many people did Bob invite to his party?
Answer: Just 5.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Someone has stolen Beethoven’s Wig and has put it in one of four locked boxes. The boxes are numbered from 1,2,3,4 in that order. There are four different keys that each has their own color. Use the clues below to figure out which key goes in which box and to find the box where Beethoven’s wig is being kept.
1. The green key goes to the third or fourth box
2. The wig is to the left of the fourth box
3. The wig is to the right of the first box
4. The yellow key is to the left of the wig
5. The blue key is to the right of the yellow key and to the left of the green key
6. The red key goes to the first box
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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