Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday April 20, 2020
 
Defining Different Heights….. 

** Height of Isolation: Two people sitting side by side using e-mails to communicate with each other.
** Height of Cowardice: Two persons fighting through e-mails or on Facebook.
** Height of Helplessness: Receiving no e-mails for a week.
** Height of Frustration: The email server being down.
** Height of Carelessness: Writing a love mail and doing a ‘Send All.’
** Height of Achievement: A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends & getting a reply.
** Height of Timepass: A person sending email to himself.

** Height of Expectation: Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, stay inside, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  
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Quotes of the Day 
The company accountant is shy and retiring.
He’s shy a quarter of a million dollars.
That’s why he’s retiring.

________________________________________________________
It may be that your sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as a warning to others.
________________________________________________________
There are only two tragedies in life: one is
not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
________________________________________________________
Were it offered to my choice, I should have no
objection to a repetition of the same life from its
beginning, only asking the advantages authors
have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.
________________________________________________________
The basic rule of human nature is that powerful
people speak slowly and subservient people quickly —
because if they don’t speak fast nobody will listen to them.
________________________________________________________

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do

with the time we have rushed through life trying to save

________________________________________________________

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee.
I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink
the cool coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, the clerk
came to the window looking frustrated, and announced,
“I’m having a problem. The ice keeps melting.” 😱😳😁
 
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“Do you know what happens to a Toad when it gets struck by lightning?”
 
Answer:  ‘X-Men’
Surely things react differently to being struck by lightning, depending on what they’re made of? Oh well, Toad is hit by the lightning Storm has conjured up and gets thrown into the river. This is definitely not the best send-off line in movie history! This is the first in the “X-Men” film trilogy (it’s still a trilogy in Jan 2007). Professor X (Patrick Stewart) runs a school for “gifted children” or mutants who have extraordinary powers. Several of his top students and teachers are member of the “X-Men” and battle against Magneto (Ian McKellen), who has created a machine that will turn all humans into mutants. Hugh Jackman (Wolverine) and Halle Berry (Storm) also star in this successful comic-book adaptation.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Wow, I’m back on the moon!”

________________________________________________________ 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Mike Jones, a travel agent at the Bon Voyage travel agency, was mildly surprised when five college students stopped by his office last Saturday morning, since each booked his spring-break trip months ahead of time. Each student came into the store at a different time and booked a trip to a different destination via a different mode of transportation.

From the information provided, can you determine the time in the morning at which each student stopped by, as well as the destination and mode of transportation each chose?
1. Taylor came into the office at some point after the student who booked the trip to Miami. The student who booked a train ticket came in at 11:00 a.m.
2. The student who came in at 9:00 a.m. (who isn’t the one named Allen) booked the trip to Washington D.C.
3. Brian (who booked a rental car) came in exactly 30 minutes after Paul (who booked a trip to Orlando).
4. The student who booked a trip to the Virgin Islands via sailboat is not the one who came in at 10:30 a.m.

5. Dennis is not the one who booked a bus reservation

Answer:  9:00. Dennis, Washington DC, airplane

9:30, Allen, Virgin Islands, sailboat
10:00 Paul, Orlando, bus
10:30 Brian, Miami, rental car

11:00 Taylor, New Orleans, train

 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is…….

The sailboats have been mixed up. You’ll need to work out which sailboat belongs to which owner, the dock numbers, and the lengths of the boats.

Boats: Adagio III, Fair Weather, Irish Pride, Petite Palm, White Squid
Docks: 6, 8, 16, 19, 28
Owners: Ann, Charlie, Hetta, Ivor, Kelly
Lengths (in ft): 22, 25, 28, 31, 34
Clues:
1. Of the sailboat at Dock 16 and Charlie’s boat, one is the Petite Palm and the other is the White Squid.
2. The Fair Weather isn’t moored at Dock 19.
3. The White Squid is 9 feet shorter than the Irish Pride.
4. The boat at Dock 19 is either Charlie’s boat or Ivor’s boat.
5. The five boats are the Petite Palm, the sailboat at Dock 8, the 28 ft boat, the 25 ft boat and Kelly’s sailboat.
6. The 22 ft vessel is owned by Kelly.
7. The Irish Pride isn’t owned by Hetta.
8. The 28 ft vessel isn’t moored at Dock 6.
9. The Adagio III is 3 feet longer than Kelly’s sailboat.

10. The 34 ft vessel isn’t moored at Dock 19.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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