WELCOME to Tuesday April 28, 2020
Today we take a look at Men’s Age, as determined by a Trip to Home Depot .
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn,
putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You are hot and sweaty,
covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You
know the outfit shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20’s:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register..
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In your 30’s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
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In your 40’s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the
crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of
Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a Happy TUESDAY people, stay inside, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“A girl in New York whose parents were on ‘Wife Swap’ is suing the show for 100 million
dollars for making her look like a spoiled brat. Note to girl: guess what else makes you look like a spoiled brat? Being 15 and suing for a hundred million dollars.” -Jimmy Fallon
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“The price of a stamp is going up to 55 cents. It’s out of control. If only there was some
other way to send written messages…if anyone can think of anything just e-mail me.” -Jimmy Fallon
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“A seventh grade teacher in California was arrested for teaching while drunk. Which is why an entire Earth Science class now thinks hurricanes are formed when rum collides with lime juice, passion fruit, and crushed ice in a hot pink souvenir cup from Senor Frog’s.” -Jimmy Fallon
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses — one for each year of her life. The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, “She may be your 19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old wife.” The young man bought a dozen roses. 😳😁😎
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible: Jew, Gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others’ happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world, there’s room for everyone…
Answer: The Great Dictator!
‘The Great Dictator’ was Chaplin’s first true “talkie” (although there had been some speech in ‘Modern Times’, often described as the last “silent” film). In it, he played a nameless Jewish barber who happened to bear an uncanny resemblance to Adenoid Hynkel, the dictator of Tomainia (also played by Chaplin). The movie is an attack on the regime of Hitler, with many of the characters and events only thinly disguised. Near the end, Hynkel and the Barber are mistaken for each other, and the Barber must assume leadership of his country, but immediately reverses his predecessor’s policies. The Hannah to whom this speech is addressed at its end was a neighbour in the ghetto, who is seen reacting with joy to the message she has received.
Chaplin is perhaps best remembered for his character of the Tramp, with his swinging cane, mustache and bowler hat.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’m gonna tell you something I’ve kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew George Gipp. It was long before your time. But you all know what a tradition he is at Notre Dame. And the last thing he said to me: ‘Rock,’ he said, ‘Sometime when the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell ’em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper’. ‘I don’t know where I’ll be then, Rock,’ he said, ‘but I’ll know about it and I’ll be happy.'”
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Monday’s Quizzler is….
In this teaser, I have given you a 9-letter word. Your job is to break up this word into 9 separate letters and place them on the dashes to spell a 7-letter word, a 5-letter word, and a 3-letter word. You can use each letter only once.
IMPASSIVE
_ E _ T _ G _
_ R _ S _
_ P _
Answer: 1. VESTIGE
2. PRISM
3. SPA
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
In a country, there are over 100 streets. Street 1 is named First Street, street 2 is named Second Street, and so on and so forth.
A traveler decides to walk through all these streets in the country. He could find all the streets except Street 62. No matter how hard he tried, he could not find it.
He later found that the locals had given the street another name.
What is the name?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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