WELCOME to Wednesday April 29, 2020
Top Ten Signs You’re Not Mensa Material.
10. You couldn’t figure out how to break the seal on your standardized intelligence test, so you had to give up.
9. You wonder how the deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs.
8. You are confused by the plot twists of a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
7. You once tried to solve a Rubik’s cube and had to be institutionalized for over a year.
6. You had trouble getting in even before they saw the decimal point in your IQ.
5. You are still struggling to finish “Shoe Laces For Dummies.”
4. Your family had a celebration when you scored a “perfect 10” points on your SAT.
3. You don’t watch PBS because there are no Budweiser or Taco Bell commercials.
2. Homer Simpson is your idol.
1. That “which comes first” thing about chicken and eggs just makes you hungry and
guess what? Your not Mensa material but you are officially qualified to become president of the united States.😱😁😎
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful WEDNESDAY people, stay inside, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“According to a new study, polar bears will probably
be extinct by the year 2050. So enjoy eating them while you can.”
“Fool me once, shame on you; fool me
twice, shame on me.” – Chinese Proverb
“The trouble with practical jokes is that
very often they get elected.” – Will Rogers😳
“A common mistake that people make when trying
to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the
ingenuity of complete fools.” – Douglas Adams
“It is better to weep with wise men
than to laugh with fools.” – Spanish Proverb
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgement Day and,
of course, he used Biblical phraseology whenever he could. “Oh, my friends,”
he intoned, “imagine the suffering of the sinners as they find themselves cast
into the outer darkness, removed from the presence of the Lord and given to
eternal flames. My friends, at such a time there will be weeping, wailing and a
great gnashing of teeth!” At this point, one of the elders of the congregation
interrupted to say, “But Reverend, what if one of those hopeless sinners has
no teeth?” The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, “My friends,
the Lord is not put out by details. Rest assured… teeth will be provided!” 😁😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“I’m gonna tell you something I’ve kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew George Gipp. It was long before your time. But you all know what a tradition he is at Notre Dame. And the last thing he said to me: ‘Rock,’ he said, ‘Sometime when the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell ’em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper’. ‘I don’t know where I’ll be then, Rock,’ he said, ‘but I’ll know about it and I’ll be happy.'”
Answer: ‘Knute Rockne!
‘Knute Rockne – All American’ was a film biography of the football coach known for his determination to win, his ability to make his players feel the need to make an extra effort for the sake of the team, and his support of the players not only in their athletic endeavours, but also in their personal lives. The Gipper speech was actually delivered at halftime in a 1928 game against Notre Dame’s traditional (at the time) rivals, Army. Playing at Yankee Stadium on November 10, 1928, the team rallied from a halftime deficit to win the game, 12-6, and Rockne’s speech became a part of the mythology of college football.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap while any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
In a country, there are over 100 streets. Street 1 is named First Street, street 2 is named Second Street, and so on and so forth.
A traveler decides to walk through all these streets in the country. He could find all the streets except Street 62. No matter how hard he tried, he could not find it.
He later found that the locals had given the street another name.
What is the name?
Answer: Minute street. This is because Street 62 is named Sixty Second Street, and Sixty Seconds = 1 Minute, hence Street 62 is also called Minute Street.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Jeff, Carl, Tom, Ben, and Alan are five loving dads. Their children, in no specific order, are Jenna, Harry, David, Patrick, and Mary. On five different days of the week, these dads decided to get their children different breeds of dogs. Your job is to figure out which child received which dog, on which day, from which dad, and what each dog was named.
1. The five dads are Carl, David’s father, the owner of the beagle, the owner of Lassie, and Ben.
2. All the dogs’ names have a relationship to the dog…For example, David named his dalmatian Spot, although it obviously has many more. Also, Harry named his poodle Curly.
3. Ben gave a poodle to his son right after Sunday Mass.
4. None of the dad’s names start with the same letter as the name of their child, dog, or dog breed.
5. Lassie was bought by Jeff on Friday. The beagle was bought for Patrick.
6. Tom bought a dog for his son David on Thursday, but Carl went shopping on Monday.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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