Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday May 4, 2020
Pointed Observations…
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.
You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Contactless Pizza delivery, from the oven to the box, who cuts the pizza?😱

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great MONDAY people, stay inside, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day 
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain and play with it.
A good laugh is a mighty good thing, a rather too scarce a good thing.
I will look for the flowers by the side of the road; I will laugh and love and be strong. I will try to lighten another’s load this day as I fare along. MARY S. EDGAR
As soap is to the body, so laughter is to the soul.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Visiting his parents’ retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. After a while, Tim’s father returned from his walk and called out, “I’m ready to leave.”
Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to leave because his father was calling. Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, “You’re a kid?” 😁
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“My friends, my friends, I have a speech here. It’s a speech about what this state needs. There’s no need in my telling you what this state needs. You are the state and you know what you need. You over there, look at your pants. Have they got holes in the knees? Listen to your stomach. Did you ever hear it rumble for hunger? And you, what about your crops? Did they ever rot in the field because the road was so bad you couldn’t get ’em to market? And you, what about your kids? Are they growin’ up ignorant as dirt, ignorant as you ’cause there’s no school for ’em? … Now listen to me, you hicks! Listen to me, and lift up your eyes and look at God’s blessed and unfly-blown truth. And this is the truth! You’re a hick, and nobody ever helped a hick but a hick himself! Alright, listen to me! Listen to me! I’m the hick they were gonna use to split the hick vote.

Answer:  ‘All the King’s Men’  
Willie Stark starts out as an idealistic lawyer, who runs for governor on a platform to gain representation for “everyday folk”, those whom he calls “hicks” in the speech used in the question. After the failure of that campaign, he continues to develop his charismatic speech style, and later becomes governor, and leader of a powerful political machine.

Broderick Crawford won the Academy Award for Best Actor, a victory which many attribute to this speech from early in the film. Robert Rossen adapted the screenplay from the Pulitzer Prize winning book by Robert Penn Warren, and changed the focus to be on Willie Stark rather than on Jack Burden (the reporter who chronicles his career) as it was in the book. The story about the loss of innocence as politics corrupts Stark into becoming one of those against whom he initially fought is thought to have been inspired by the real-life figure of Huey Long, Louisiana governor and senator who was assassinated in 1935.


Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I am leaving soon, and you will forgive me if I speak bluntly. The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Stronger than steel, yet lighter than cotton

Found in a corner, forever forgotten
I bother so many, but marvel a few
You can’t seem to make me

I’m a mystery to you. 


Answer: Spider silk.

Spider silk is one of the most remarkable materials on Earth. Besides being five times stronger than steel, it is also extremely lightweight: a strand of spider silk long enough to circle the earth would weigh less than 16 ounces.
Despite years of study, researchers are still baffled by spider silk and have not been able to duplicate it.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Van Gogh (pronounced “Go”) is back, with more of his relatives.
e.g. One of them was a well-known musical cousin from Liverpool, England. His name? Ring Gogh! (Ringo)
From the clues, can you guess the other names?
1. An elderly uncle who plays the numbers game at his community hall.
2. His young nephew who bounces everywhere.
3. A long-lost brother who had been on his yacht exploring a group of islands in the Pacific.
4. An aunt, famous for her milk pudding recipe.
5. His cousin with the skin infection.
6. The teenage niece who wears dark, trendy shades of blue and purple.
7. His Great Uncle Emil, the famous lecturer on self-esteem.
The hint gives the first letter, and number of letters, for each word.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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