WELCOME to WEDNESDAY MAY 13, 2020
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? If
not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your
clothes would they eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart
then apologizes for doing so, why do we say ‘It’s all right’? It isn’t all right,
so why don’t we say, ‘That hurt, you idiot?’
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash
pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren’t they
just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as ‘just a sprain’ and deep wounds
as ‘just a scratch,’ but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill ‘with the
flu’ and have to be bedridden for weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?
Shouldn’t all married men forget their mistakes? After all there’s no sense
in two people remembering the same things right?
Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don’t have to live with women?😁
If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told you to?
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay inside, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“Today is National Teacher Appreciation Day. It’s the one day each year
when we tell our teachers that there’s no one we’re prouder of, and our
teachers are like, ‘There’s no one OF WHOM you’re prouder.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Facebook is adding a new feature that will allow people to use Facebook
as an online dating app. I’m not sure Facebook understands why we use
Facebook. Facebook isn’t for finding dates; it’s for finding people we used
to date. Then we silently judge them, feel better about ourselves.
That’s the only use for Facebook.” -James Corden
“In a new interview, billionaire Warren Buffett called Bitcoin ‘rat poison.’
Which is an unfair comparison because people actually understand
how rat poison works.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey. Our daughter turned to my wife and said, “Mom, you always did it that way.” “Yes,” my wife replied, “but you don’t have a cat!” 😳😁😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“And you… you’re part… eggplant,”
Answer: True Romance
“True Romance” (1993), starring Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette, is possibly the most sublime piece of work director Tony Scott has committed to celluloid and it rode on the back of a cracking Tarantino script. It is important to note that Quentin had been criticized strongly as a racist to this point in his career and, it was said, that what appeared on screen was a true reflection of the man himself. It is true that the “n” word gets a good workout in this film but they serve as a great entree to Hopper’s final insult. Hopper’s Worley is being tortured to reveal his son’s location. He knows the game is up and he is determined not to sell out his boy. The best he can hope for is a quick death and so he proceeds to taunt Vincenzo with a description of Coccotti’s blood-line, all of which is descended from darkest Africa. The final one-liner is slap in the face to his lack of purity. Coccotti laughs and then shoots Worley in the head.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Did your parents have any children that lived?”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Answer the clues with a pair of rhyming words.
(plump feline = fat cat)
1. Moby Dick fan letter
2. Stream cove
3. Medieval soldier competition
4. Extra couple
5. Metal drain plug
Answer: 1. Whale mail
2. Brook nook
3. Knight fight
4. Spare pair
5. Copper stopper
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Jennifer and four of her friends are members of “Friends of The Bard”, a Shakespeare fan club. The last meeting of the year is tomorrow morning, and each member is coming dressed as her favorite character and will read a passage from her favorite play. Everyone signed up to bring refreshments. Unfortunately, Jennifer’s mischievous cat spread chocolate icing (from Jennifer’s refreshment) all over the sign up sheets and she can’t read it! Can you help her determine the full name of each member, their favorite characters, their favorite plays, and what refreshment they signed up to bring?
First names: Cheryl, Jennifer, Marilyn, Patty, Stacey
Last names: Carlson, Jameson, Malone, Pennington, Sullivan
Characters: Ariel, Kate, Mercutio, Ophelia, Puck
Plays: Hamlet, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Romeo and Juliet, The Taming of the Shrew, The Tempest
Refreshments: Brie, chips and dip, crackers, cupcakes, soda.
1. No one’s first name begins with the same letter as their last name.
2. No one is bringing a snack that begins with the same letter as their first or last name.
3. The five members are Cheryl, Ms. Malone, the one who is bringing Brie, the one whose favorite character is Puck, and the one whose favorite play is The Tempest.
4. Ms. Sullivan, who is not Marilyn (whose favorite play isn’t The Taming of the Shrew), once played Ophelia (who is not her favorite character) in her favorite play Hamlet.
5. Cheryl’s favorite character reminds her of a certain red-haired mermaid.
6. Ms. Jameson (who hates Romeo and Juliet) feels that she can relate to her favorite character Ophelia.
7. The one who is bringing the chips and dip (who isn’t Marilyn) loves The Tempest.
8. Patty loves the wit of Mercutio and can’t wait to read a monologue from Romeo and Juliet.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.